Crash Into Me
by zgirl21
Summary: Anakin and Padme are the same age and the story starts with Padme looking back at the events that led to their bitter parting and will eventually pick up at the start of AOTC. Major alternate universe. Now Complete.
1. Prologue

Just so everyone knows, Padme and Anakin were the same age in TPM (14). This is a major AU, but hopefully an interesting and exciting one.

CRASH INTO ME

Prologue

Senator Padme Amidala stood by her Coruscant apartment window. The sunset over the massive buildings were truly a sight to behold, but Padme's thoughts were anywhere but on the surrounding landscape.

Her hands clenched nervously at her sides and then quickly resigned herself to playing with the charm that had been buried deep within the bodice of her gown. She allowed her mind to wander and she reluctantly looked down at the small wooden item in her hand. It was beautiful, simple, but beautiful because he had made it for her. The intricate carvings were impressive, even for the then nineteen-year-old who had designed it especially for her.

She sighed and slowly seated herself on her plush sofa. Once again, her eyes drifted to the small jappor snippet that now fell nearly to the middle of her stomach. It was without a doubt her most prized possession because of its emotional value to her. He had spent hours meticulously carving each little marking on the tiny piece of wood and presented it to her with such a look of pride mixed with love. She knew that every hour spent to him was worth it, because he had made it for her out of love.

It had been two years since she had seen him last. Two years since he had left Naboo for Coruscant, leaving her behind. Now all she had were her memories of him, because she knew deep down that everything that had gone wrong was completely her fault. He had loved her, deeply and completely. But she had ruined everything with one mistake that had changed their lives forever. And they were never going to get back the short time they had together. Now, their lives were moving in different directions, even if he did still love her…but he couldn't possibly, not after what she had done.

She sighed again, knowing that there were more pressing matters that she needed to be concerned with. She looked up to see Sabe's concerned eyes.

"Milady, the Jedi and your fiancé will be here within the hour."

Padme nodded promptly and motioned for Sabe to take her leave.

Shaking her head, she moved over to the window again. The circumstances in which they were to be reunited were nearly incomprehensible. There had been several assassination attempts on her life and now the Senate's last resort was to enlist Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker to ensure her safety. She was frightened for her life, of course, because the threat of death constantly hung over her head. Yet, it was possible that seeing Anakin again was more frightening than death itself. For she would have to look her past in the eye and still maintain the future laid out before her.

She closed her eyes and soon, she drifted back into another world. A world where a young Queen fell helplessly in love with a padawan. A world where it seemed as if nothing would ever separate them.

Padme could only laugh at that. She had been so naïve and so in love. If only she had known then what she knew now, she could have spared herself the way she now felt. Even the best laid plans can come crashing down and that is exactly what happened.

Yet somehow, as if they had a will of their own, her eyes closed again and she was transported back to that day which seemed so long ago. The day that he came crashing into her world.


	2. Meeting

Chapter One

Theed Palace was an extraordinary place to be, especially when the Queen was throwing a ball. And this was no ordinary ball. It was the fifth anniversary of Naboo's victory over the Trade Federation and it seemed as if the entire galaxy was arriving for the event.

Ship after ship arrived, carrying only guests for the ball. And before long, the event was in full swing. Delicate music filled the room as some guests swayed to the music and others chatted fervently. However, all attention was turned to the entrance as the last two guests arrived.

Applause thundered through the room as the Jedi weaved their way through. Many of the guests rushed to them, attempting to shake the hand or even just to touch the legendary Anakin Skywalker. He was the one everyone had been waiting for. The hero of Naboo.

Before Anakin realized what was happening, a throng of girls seemed to throw themselves at his feet and grabbed at his Jedi robes. He politely shrugged them off and desperately looked to his Master, Obi-Wan, for help. Obi-Wan couldn't respond, as he was being bombarded by his own followers, and he could only shrug his shoulders in defeat, telling Anakin that he would just have to grin and bear it.

Anakin grimaced in response to Obi-Wan, then his eyes widened in horror as one the girls ripped a piece of his robe off for herself.

"That's it!" He muttered a little too loudly and proceeded to push the girls off of him. He darted for any exit he could find, looking wildly behind him to assure himself that he wasn't being followed.

Without even realizing it, he found himself in Theed's gardens and nodded to himself with satisfaction. No one would find him there, that was for sure. He leaned gratefully against a tree and rubbed his aching forehead. He definitely hadn't expected to be received that way. It wasn't as if he had saved Naboo yesterday. There had to be a bigger celebrity on that planet than himself, but somehow, he knew that he would always be one there. The savior of millions of lives doesn't just fade away. The thought made him groan and made him wonder just how long he would have suffer this way. The attention from the adults didn't bother him much, but those girls…with their hands…grabbing like he was a one of a kind item on sale…he couldn't handle that.

He didn't really have any interest in girls either. Maybe he just associated all girls with the ones he had just encountered, but either way, he didn't want anything to do with them. Besides, Jedi teachings forbade what those girls wanted from him. Not that he would ever consider giving it to them though. There was only one that ever meant anything to him, and she was no where in sight.

Anakin shook his head, as if to awaken himself from his thoughts and decided to take a better look around the gardens. He knew that they were lush and deep and that one could get lost almost immediately within them. Absolutely perfect.

He started walking and quickly found that the gardens were a much better place to be than the stuffy ballroom. He could breathe here and the sights surrounding him were no cause for complain either.

Suddenly, he stiffened, feeling another presence through the Force. He closed his eyes in defeat, thinking that he had been found and opened them to see a very familiar face.

"Hello."

His heart beat quickened as he realized that that was the first time he had heard that sweet voice in five years. She didn't look much different to him, just older, more beautiful perhaps, but it was still her. As he looked at her, he realized that his own appearance had changed drastically in the years they had been apart and that she didn't recognize her old friend.

"Your highness."

He heard his own voice echo through his mind and felt like he was in a dream. Now, having had to come to the ball wasn't so bad at all.

"You were hiding, weren't you?"

He looked up and met her soulful brown eyes. He surprised himself by laughing out loud. "As a matter of fact, I was. I ran for the first exit I could find and this was it."

She laughed to and it was music to his ears. The sheer sound of it sent his mind reeling.

"I can't blame you."

He smiled brightly at her, and she smiled back. She had been sitting alone for almost an hour having fled the boring ball in favor of some solitude. But now, after seeing this handsome stranger in front of her, she was grateful to have someone to talk to.

His eyes shone as she spoke again: "I was hiding too."

Now, he was slightly surprised as this was not what he would have expected from her, let alone a Queen. He brushed it off and quickly decided to keep talking, since he definitely didn't want the conversation to end.

"You don't like these stuffy parties either?"

She nodded. "I'd rather be anywhere but in there. Don't laugh at me, but I think I'd rather be at one of those Senate conventions than in that ballroom."

He smiled at her and she quickly smiled back.

"Well you know, I was being followed everywhere. Senators talking my ear off about some bill they're trying to pass, and there was this one just wouldn't leave me alone. He followed me around like a puppy or something!"

He was laughing now and she felt her face flush, in spite of her white ceremonial makeup. She normally didn't care for male attention, for some reason, she felt like her whole world would come crashing down if he walked away from her. She took that moment to survey the young man in front her. He was lean and tall, sandy blonde hair with piercing blue eyes. With just one look, those eyes made her knees weak and she had to sit down.

She gestured for him to join her on the bench and it was then that she finally saw the padawan braid. Who was this young padawan? She had to know, even though she knew that there could never be anything between them, she had to know his name. Her thoughts faded into the back of her mind as she realized that he was talking to her again.

"Sometimes I wish that all of this would just go away. You know, we could just get in my ship and go somewhere. Anywhere, as long as we could get away."

His eyes were twinkling now and she couldn't help but smile. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Isn't it? Just think of it. We could leave all these boring people with their boring conversations and leave all those girls…"

"Wait, what girls?"

He smiled sheepishly, knowing he might have given himself away. But he knew he had to keep her talking, and he was afraid that she wouldn't care about him once she found out who he was. Why would she care about a former slave?

"Uhh, did I say girls?"

She laughed and he smiled back at her. "Yes, you did. Now tell me, what girls?"

"Well, let's just say that I've been getting a little more attention from them than I would like. That's mainly my reason for coming out here. I had to get myself away from them with their hands…"

Her eyebrows raised slightly at the mention of their hands and she folded her arms across her chest as if to tell him that he'd better explain himself.

Not knowing what else to do, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear: "Are you an angel?"

Her mouth dropped open in shock and she turned her gaze towards his waiting eyes.

"Anakin?"

Her mouth curved into a smile and she threw her arms around him. He felt immense relief wash over him and realized that he was now holding her in his arms. A wave of emotions washed over him and he realized that this was one of the best moments of his life.

"Why didn't you tell me who you were right away?"

"I don't know."

She laughed again and soon, their eyes locked in an intense stare. He licked his lips and leaned closer while she closed her eyes in anticipation.

"Anakin!"

And suddenly, the spell was broken. Anakin looked up and felt Obi-Wan's presence near by.

"I need to go, that's my Master."

"Obi-Wan?"

He nodded and bit his lip in thought. "Padme…it's alright if I call you Padme, right?"

She nodded and he decided to continue. "Padme, would it be alright if I saw you again?"

She looked up at him and met the eyes of a nervous young man. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't bear the thought of this being the last time she could see him, especially now that she knew who he was.

"Anakin, I would love to see you again."

He couldn't contain his smile and couldn't stop himself from leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. He quickly turned and headed back for the ballroom before he changed his mind. Padme, on the other hand, couldn't move her feet. She was rooted to the ground, her head reeling from the experience she had just had. He wasn't a little boy anymore, that was for sure, and now, the only words that echoed through her head were ones spoken to her long ago:

"I'm going to marry you someday."


	3. Latenight Rendevous

Chapter Two

Padme sat at her vanity and delicately brushed her long hair. She set the brush down and twisted a tendril in her finger absentmindedly. No matter what she did, she couldn't get her mind off of him. After he had left to rejoin Obi-Wan, she had only managed to steal glances of him from across the ballroom. That definitely wasn't enough for her. She wanted to see him again, Code or no Code. And he wanted to see her again too.

It had been five years since she had seen him and she couldn't believe how much he had matured. Gone was the awkward, lanky boy and a confident, handsome young man was the replacement. Granted, she had liked Anakin when she first met him, but he was different now. Maybe she wasn't ready to have those feelings, but she was feeling them now. She couldn't think of anything else and her face seemed to take on a continual flush. He just did something to her…she couldn't find a name for it…but it was there, and she knew it wasn't going away.

She looked up and frowned. Who would be coming to see her at this hour? It certainly couldn't be Sabe…

She quickly got up, forgetting her attire and flung open the door in exasperation. Her mouth opened slightly as she saw the Jedi standing in her doorway. His eyes widened with shock and surprise as he took in the sight of her in a clingy, almost transparent black nightgown. He had never seen anything even close to that before in his entire life and he found himself unable to control the inevitable reaction.

Padme realized that his eyes were now traveling the length of her body and she immediately gestured for him to enter, then took off in search of a robe. Anakin smirked as he watched her leave then seated himself on one of the sofas in her room. He took a moment to survey his expensive surroundings.

Theed was one of the most beautiful places he had ever visited. He often dreamed of it, even though Padme was in all those dreams as well. For some reason, he felt drawn to it like a moth to a flame. There was no stopping it. And he knew the very reason for this was walking back towards him.

He frowned slightly, now aware that the robe concealed the view he had feasted on several moments ago, but his heart began to race as he look into her eyes and realized for the first time that night that she wasn't wearing her ceremonial makeup. She was his Padme, not the regal Queen Amidala that she was for her people. For him, she was just Padme.

She gestured for him to join her on the balcony and they walked outside to breathe in the Nubian night air. They leaned against the railing and they found themselves inching closer to each other with each passing moment.

"You know Anakin, when I agreed to see you again, I wasn't aware that you meant tonight." She looked up at him with laughing eyes, but that quickly faded when she saw the look on his face.

"Well, I don't know how long my Master and I will be here. The Council gave us a four day vacation to be here, but we could get called back anytime."

She nodded in somber understanding and decided to change the subject. "Anakin, I have a secret."

He looked back at her, the sadness now replaced with plain curiosity. "Really?"

"Uh huh. Promise not to tell anyone?"

He shook his head quickly and she smiled before continuing.

"When my term as Queen is up in several weeks, I'm going to retire."

His eyebrows raised with shock and surprise. "What will you do?"

She smiled softly. "Be a girl, I suppose."

He moved a little closer to her and placed a hand gently on hers. "Haven't had much time for that?"

"No, but I was thinking you could help me with that. You know, make up for lost time."

His heart race quickened even more than he thought possible as he felt her move closer to him. He swallowed nervously. "Yeah?"

"Of course, Anakin. Now that you're back in my life…" She gazed up at him expectantly, almost allowing herself to think that maybe she was jumping to conclusions. That he wasn't really that interested in her.

"I'm back in your life and I'm not going anywhere, Padme."

She exhaled slowly and found his intense stare. She was breathing heavily now and she was barely aware that Anakin was fighting the same battle. She watched him lick his lips lightly in anticipation and he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. It wasn't what she had been expecting, but perhaps it was too soon for that.

Anakin, on the other hand, was inwardly berating himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She had wanted him to kiss her, that was obvious. And what did he do? He got scared and nervous. He could be kissing her now…her sudden movement sent him flying back to reality and he turned his eyes back to her form.

She had moved slightly away from him and he wanted physically hurt himself for his own stupidity. Smart, real smart.

"So tell me, Anakin, when will you take the trials?"

He swallowed nervously and decided it was best if he answered her. "I'm not sure. I'm ready though."

"And how do you know that?"

"I just do. I can feel it. It's my time."

She tilted her head to the side and cast him a wary glance. "Oh really?"

He nodded and surprised himself by smiling at her. "Yes. The Force is strong with me."

"I know. I've heard some spectacular stories about you. No wonder all those girls wanted you all to themselves."

He smiled wistfully at her. "That may be true. But you're the one who has me all to herself."

A soft smile slowly crept on her face and Anakin's heart leapt at the sight. Maybe he hadn't lost her after all.

Padme glanced inside her rooms and her face fell. It was getting very late and she worried that someone would come looking for Anakin soon.

"Anakin…maybe it's time for you to go."

He frowned, maybe he had been wrong, maybe his chance had flown out the window...

"I just don't want you to get in trouble, Anakin. Can you imagine what would happen if Obi-Wan found out you were here?"

"That's not really something I want to think about. I think you're right."

He followed her back into her room and felt her heart pounding. It was now or never.

Her hand fell to the doorknob and just before she could turn it, she turned back to look at him.

"Anakin, I'd really like to see you again before you leave."

"Of course."

She turned back to the door but before she could open it, she felt his hand on her back. He turned her back towards him and he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

It didn't last very long, but it was the sweetest kiss either of them had ever experienced. It held so much promise for the future and at that moment, they were the only ones who existed. However, all good things must come to an end, and Anakin pulled away reluctantly and silently exited her room with a quick smile in her direction.

Padme watched him leave and as soon as he was out of sight, she found herself missing him already. She knew that her life had been forever changed, but in more ways that she could ever possibly know.


	4. Alone Time

Chapter Three

"You see, your Highness, the Senate is growing weaker by the day. And you need to be especially careful, given your situation with the Trade Federation five years ago."

"Yes, Senator Organa, but that was five years ago and much has changed since the Blockade. I believe that if need be, the Senate will assist us as much as they possibly can. And of course, there's always the Jedi Council. They've always been reliable in any matter."

Senator Organa stopped walking and turned to gaze at Queen Amidala. She had to stop herself from cringing under his stare. It made her uncomfortable in a way she had never been before and she felt almost dirty. It was nothing like the way Anakin had made her feel.

She smiled slightly at the thought of him, but quickly erased that from her face as it seemed to encourage the Senator just a bit more. He stepped a little closer to her and she quickly inched away from him. He seemed to take the hint and resumed himself back to his original position and he looked away with embarrassment.

The Senator began to carry on the conversation, much to the Queen's dismay. Within a matter of seconds, something caught her eye that was far more intriguing than the boring Senator next to her.

"Senator, I'm sorry but I just remembered that I must meet with my security about the recent changes. Can we finish this another time?"

"Of course, your Highness."

Senator Organa immediately took his leave, knowing exactly why the Queen had been so eager for him to leave. The Queen, on the other hand, made her way to a pillar that was directly in front of her.

She reached out to place her hand on the pillar but another hand stopped her. He immediately began to kiss her hand, then pushed up her sleeve to shower her arm with more kisses.

"Anakin…"

He stopped and looked at her with a disappointed look. "What?"

"We shouldn't do this here…"

"Why not, no one's here. Your 'friend' already left."

Padme looked up at him and sighed exasperatedly.

"I saw the way he was looking at you, you know."

Padme rolled her eyes at him and he shook his head at her.

"I mean it, Padme. I don't like the way he's always hanging around…lurking around you…"

Padme laughed good-naturedly. "I think you're the one that's lurking. Besides, you've only been here for three days. What do you know anyway?"

She shoved him playfully, but he wasn't interested in being playful at the moment.

"That's exactly my point. If he's like this while I can see it, I can only imagine what he's like when I'm gone."

Padme's face fell considerably at his mention of being gone. That was the last thing she wanted to think about. The last three days had been the most incredible days of her life. A true whirlwind romance for sure, but it wasn't like they had all the time in the world. She knew that the Jedi were not supposed to love, so they would have to continue to keep their relationship a secret. She was willing to do whatever it took to be with Anakin. As long as she was with him, nothing else mattered.

"Anakin, I don't want to talk about that right now. I know you're leaving soon, but…I just want to enjoy what time we have left together. I don't want to waste it by worrying about the future. I can do that after you've left."

He nodded and drew her to him, silently berating himself for going on about the Senator. Padme was right, he could worry about that later. For now, he just wanted to focus on them. Besides, they barely had enough time to do that anyway.

"Padme, there's something I need to tell you. Obi-Wan just informed me that we're leaving tomorrow morning. I wish there was something else I could say…"

She cut him off by grabbing his neck and pulling him into a passionate kiss. He pulled her closer until the space between them had been completely closed while her hands caressed the back of his head. Before things could go any further, Padme pulled away breathlessly.

"Not here, Anakin."

He furrowed his brow at her, that disappointed look creeping back into his eyes. "Then where?"

She cast him a sideways look. "Follow me."

Anakin closed her door as quietly as he could and followed Padme deeper into her room.

"How much time do we have?" He whispered.

"I don't know, a half hour maybe."

A handsome, yet devilish grin spread across his face. "That's more than enough time."

As if their bodies had wills of their own, they crashed into each other's arms and began kissing wildly, partly because of the passionate, adrenaline rush, but also because they knew that this may be the last opportunity they had to truly be alone.

His hand twisted into her delicate hairdo, while hers somehow found their way inside the folds of his Jedi robes. As their passion grew, their legs moved them closer and closer to the bed. Within moments, they would be at the brink and then there would be no going back. Anakin immediately realized this and pulled back, despite his body telling him not to.

"Padme, maybe we should wait." He said breathlessly.

She gazed up at him while trying to catch her breath. Part of her had wanted it so badly, but now that Anakin was objecting, she was beginning to realize that maybe this wasn't the right time.

"I think you're right, Anakin."

He exhaled loudly with relief, extremely grateful that she wasn't mad at him for stopping what would have inevitably happened.

She laughed softly. "After all, we've only been together for three days. We have plenty of time for…well, anyways, we still need to get to know each other better. I feel like we've been rushing all this and I…"

"Padme, it's ok, you don't have to say anymore. I feel the exact same way, it's just that, after I leave here, I don't know how often I'll get to see you."

She nodded, desperately trying to suppress her brimming tears. He was leaving the next day and that was more than she could handle. She felt cheated, like he was being stolen from her. He pulled her into a warm embrace and they fell onto the bed. For the remainder of the alone time they had, he just held her, which was exactly what she needed.

When their time was up, Anakin rose slowly as if to put off the inevitable as much as possible. She sat on the edge of the bed and smoothed out her skirt, knowing that this was goodbye now. She knew that their schedules wouldn't allow them to see each other again before he had to leave.

She slowly met his sorrowful gaze and a loud giggle erupted from her.

Anakin looked back at her, shocked that she would laugh during such a painful moment. "What is it?"

"Anakin, look in the mirror."

He turned around and stared at his reflection in horror. Moments later, he was laughing right along with Padme, while she jumped up to find a towel so he could wipe the white ceremonial makeup off that was smeared all over his face. Once the incriminating evidence was gone, the mood changed significantly.

He knelt down to where she was now sitting and gently took her hands in his. "Padme, I know this is going to be hard on both of us. I mean, we just found each other again, we have to keep up hope that all this is going to work out for us. I just want you to know…in case anything should happen to me before I can see you again…"

"Anakin, don't talk like that."

"No, Padme, please. Just let me get this out."

She nodded and remained silent as he continued.

"I just want you to know that I…I love you, Padme. I've loved you since that day in Watto's shop and I'll love you until the day I die."

She smiled through her tears and leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips. "I love you, too, Anakin. I'll always love you."

He kissed her on the lips one more time before placing a tender kiss on her forehead. He dug around in the folds of his Jedi robes and lifted out a delicate necklace. He placed it gently around her neck and she carefully picked up the wooden charm to inspect it. The jappor snippet was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen because he had made it for her.

She kissed him lightly on the lips as her thanks. Then without a word, he got up and softly closed the door behind him.

With that, he was gone. And Padme could only lay back on the bed and gently caress the spot where had been only minutes before.


	5. Considerations

Chapter Four

Padme sat at her throne and sighed with exasperation. Her mother was coming to visit her today and as much as she loved her mother, Jobal Naberrie could also be the most intrusive, annoying person in the world. Jobal had announced that she was visiting several weeks ago, and Padme thanked the stars that Anakin had already left. The last thing she needed right now was for her mother to find out about her new relationship with a Jedi.

She sighed again as Anakin once again entered her thoughts. It seemed as if she thought of him with every passing moment, wondering where he was, if he was safe, if he was thinking about her. Anakin had been gone for two weeks already but it seemed like two months had passed. It had without a doubt been the longest two weeks of her entire, even though she had already received three letters from Anakin. She must have read each of them a hundred times already, but she couldn't help it. They made her feel closer to him, like he was really there, whispering into her ear.

She felt a pang of guilt when she realized that she had only had time to write to him once, but then again, it was unlikely that he was even at the Temple yet. Anakin had told her that it would be easier for her to just send her letters to him to the Temple, that way they would never be lost and he could get them when he returned from a mission.

Much to her dismay, Padme's thoughts were interrupted by none other than her mother.

"Padme! It's so good to see you again!" She immediately pulled her daughter to a tight hug, slightly cutting off Padme's air supply.

"Mother...it's good to see you as well. It's a shame Father couldn't come too."

"Yes, but you know how he hates to travel. And I promised to fill him in on everything as soon as I return home."

"And when will that be, Mother?"

"Oh darling, you sound like you want me to leave already? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, I've just been very busy lately."

"So I've heard."

Padme eyed her mother curiously. She knew her mother was talking about more than just politics. She couldn't possibly know…

"Padme, shall we go to lunch?"

Padme nodded carefully and motioned for her mother to follow her. She knew that whatever her mother had to say to her, she would say it when she felt like it.

Lunch passed by much too slowly for Padme's taste. Her mother told story after story and relayed gossip and gossip to her, driving her near the brink of insanity. She wished her mother would just come out and tell her what was really bothering her. At least it would put Padme out of her misery, or so she thought.

Jobal was going on and on about one of Padme's cousins when Padme boldly interrupted her

"Mother, would you just tell me what's on your mind?"

Jobal quickly closed her mouth, slightly shocked at her daughter's outburst. "Well, dear, if you must know, there has been some talk."

Padme's eyes narrowed. "What kind of talk? Who did you hear this from?"

"I overheard some of your handmaidens earlier today before I met up with you."

Padme looked at her mother with raised eyebrows, prompting Jobal to continue.

"They were talking like you had a…"

"A what, mother?"

"A lover."

Padme rolled her eyes and cast her mother a wary glance. "I don't have a lover."

"Then it's a beau?"

Padme hesitated for just a moment, but that was all Jobal needed. She quickly rose from the table and led Padme back to one of her rooms. They sat on the bed and Padme desperately tried to fight off images of her and Anakin on the very same bed.

"Padme, your handmaidens, they also mentioned that he was a Jedi."

Padme's mouth opened but she shut it just as quickly as she had opened it. She honestly didn't know what to say to her mother now. She had been caught, almost in the act even, and there was no amount of explaining she could do to satisfy her mother.

"Padme, you can't get involved with a Jedi…"

At the sound of her mother's voice, Padme shot up from her seat. "No, mother, I don't want to hear another word. I am nineteen years old and I can make my own decisions. I love him, I know you don't believe it, but I do. We're willing to keep our relationship a secret, even though we won't get to see each other that much. I'm an adult and so is he. Why can't you just be happy for me? I've finally found someone who I love that loves me back…"

"How do you know that, Padme? You're young and you're beautiful. You could have anyone you want, and yet you choose someone who can't even be with you. If you want to know my opinion, you're destroying both of your futures by carrying on with this relationship."

"Mother, you don't know what you're talking about…"

"I'm older, I'm wiser, Padme. I know what I'm talking about. I know all about raging hormones and I know that you think what you're feeling is love, but believe me, it will pass. Soon, you'll grow tired of always waiting on him, wondering if he's still alive. It's better to break it off before something happens."

"What do you mean?"

"The Jedi go on very dangerous missions. I thought that you of all people would know that. They're constantly at risk, in danger, many of them don't come back."

Padme sat back down next to her mother, her brow furrowed with worry.

"Padme, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now. But think of this too, if you were discovered, it would ruin both your lives. He would be expelled from the Order and your reputation was a respectable politician would be destroyed. You both would have no futures as a result of just not thinking clearly."

"Mother…I don't know what to say…"

"Say you'll think about what I said."

Padme nodded and Jobal kissed her lightly on the forehead before leaving her daughter to her thoughts.

Padme laid back down on the bed and closed her eyes in thought. Almost everything her mother had said was true…she couldn't let Anakin throw everything away just because they had spent three incredible days together. They hardly knew each other, they thought they were in love, but what did they know anyways? What if something happened to Anakin and he died wondering why she hadn't written to him? Wouldn't it just be easier on both of them if he didn't have to think about that, if she wasn't a distraction to him? Wouldn't it be easier for her if she didn't have to worry about his safety and wonder if maybe one day she would receive notice that he had fallen during some mission?

Sighing desperately, she knew what she had to do. She dragged herself to her desk and took out her pen, not even realizing that her fingers played with her jappor snippet.

* * *

Anakin wiped himself off with the towel Obi-Wan had handed to him and sighed with exasperation. It had only been a couple of weeks since he had last heard from her, but that wasn't enough for him. He needed to hear from her, see her hand writing. It made him feel like she was sitting right next to him and he could see her at her desk, writing furiously in his mind.

"Anakin?"

Anakin snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention to his Master, who was now looking at him very curiously.

"Good work today. You're improving daily. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if you took the trials within the next few months."

Anakin had to grin at that, but then that quickly faded from his face as he realized that that would mean he wouldn't be able to see Padme for the next few months because of the preparation he would need to do for his trials. He sighed absentmindedly and continued to wipe himself off with the towel, all the while thinking of Padme. Was she thinking about him? When would she write to him again?

"Anakin…you really need to work on your mind shields."

Anakin looked up and met the twinkling eyes of his Master. "I don't know what you're talking about Master."

Obi-Wan laughed heartily and slapped Anakin on the back. "Oh come on, Anakin, I may be older than you, but I'm not stupid. You're wondering why she hasn't written you lately, huh?"

Anakin turned a deep shade of red, causing Obi-Wan to laugh even harder. "Master, I really think that…"

"Don't worry, Anakin. I've known that you and the Queen were pen-pals for some time now. I'm sure she's just been very busy. She lives a very hectic life, you know."

Anakin nodded and tried to cover up his blushing with his hand. "It's just that, she likes to hear from me. You know, how I'm doing."

"And you don't mind it either."

"No, it's nice to have a friend."

Obi-Wan nodded and even though he wanted to say more, especially about the Jedi Code, he decided that he would just sound like a broken record.

They both looked up as another Jedi walked into the training room. "Padawan Skywalker, you have a letter."

Anakin grinned brightly as he took the letter in his hands. He didn't even have to look at it to know who it was from. He waved goodbye to Obi-Wan as he took his leave, then quickly tore open her letter with shaking hands.


	6. Tense Reunion

Chapter Five

_Dear Anakin,_

_I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. I think we've made a horrible mistake. I can't live a lie, Anakin. And neither can you. If anyone were to find out about us, the results would be disastrous for the both of us and I don't think I can live this way, pining for you in secret, praying that I'll receive another letter from you. I'll never stop caring for you. This just wasn't meant to be and I don't know what else there is to say. I pray that you are kept safe through out your life and I will always pray for you._

_Sincerely,_

_Padme_

Anakin's hands trembled as he re-read her letter over and over again. No…this was a joke, some kind of prank…it wasn't real…she wouldn't be that heartless. His eyes desperately ran across the page again and he realized that this was real. She had ended their relationship and it had only been several weeks.

Out of frustration and anger, he ripped the letter up and threw it in the trash. How could she say that they had made a mistake? They hadn't know each other that long but she hadn't even given them a chance. She just gave up and he had never known her to quit anything before. This wasn't like her. She was the one who had made the mistake.

He began to shake his head in anger, his mind quickly absorbing the severity of his overwhelming situation. He had lost the love of his life and he hadn't even been given a say in the decision. Who did she think she was? She may rule Naboo, but she didn't govern over him. Even though he knew that a part of him would always love her, he knew that he was better off without her. He didn't deserve to be treated this way. All he had ever done was love her and this was what he received in return.

He vowed to himself right then that he would move on and try to forget about those three days on Naboo. In his mind, it never happened. He didn't need to remind himself of her betrayal, especially when his life was on the line almost daily. Maybe in some twisted way, she was right. He didn't need the distraction, given the fact that she now apparently wanted nothing to do with him. If she wasn't thinking about him, then he didn't need to think about her either.

He nodded to himself with satisfaction. Yes, he would make this work. He could live without her. At least he could try…

* * *

Two years later, Anakin found himself thinking about her yet again. He almost always caught himself thinking of her, even though he had promised himself that he wouldn't. Despite everything that had happened between them, he couldn't erase her from his memory. He couldn't erase the memory of her touch, her smell, her taste. Suddenly, everything came rushing back to him again. All the stolen moments and stolen kisses during those short three days were tormenting him during the day and in his dreams. Sometimes, it was more than he could handle and he had to rush out of bed to meditate. He had to curse himself for putting himself through this. She didn't want him and quite frankly, he wasn't so sure that he would take her back even she begged him. Because in spite of the fact that he still loved her, she had deeply hurt him and that was something he was unable to forgive.

And yet somehow, he found himself walking to her apartment on Coruscant, with Senator Bail Organa right next to him. Anakin had to stop himself from cringing at the very thought of the Senator, who simply unnerved him. He supposed it all went back to those days on Naboo, especially given the fact that Organa was now engaged to Padme.

Before he knew it, they were at her door and were ushered in moments later. His eyes immediately began searching the room for her, anxious to see her after two years. He saw Sabe enter another room and he strained to hear the faint voices coming from that room.

Then without warning, she appeared and was back in his life.

She glided to the sofa and sat next to Bail as Anakin took the armchair across from them. Bail gestured to Anakin, in an attempt to try to the break the ice between the two, who hadn't even made eye contact since the Jedi had arrived. Bail didn't quite know what to make of it, but he knew that something was going on between them, even if he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Surely you remember Jedi Anakin Skywalker?"

Padme looked up from the spot she had been staring at and unintentionally looked straight into the eyes of the love of her life. She smiled fainted and nodded to Anakin, who only stared back at her.

"Yes, of course. But where is Master Kenobi? I thought he was going to serve as my bodyguard as well."

Bail looked at Anakin to provide her with an answer, but when he didn't after several moments, Bail could only frown and answer for him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but the Jedi Council decided to allow Jedi Skywalker to carry out this assignment on his own since he was recently Knighted."

Padme's eyes immediately flicked to Anakin's expressionless face, a hint of pride glowing in her eyes. Anakin noticed this almost instantly, but ignored it.

"That's wonderful. Congratulations."

Anakin nodded, the first sign of life he had shown Padme since they had been reunited.

Bail looked from Anakin to Padme and shook his head slightly. He looked at his watch and realized it was time for him to go. He stood up and looked at Padme expectantly, but because she was staring into the ground, he sighed with exasperation.

"Well, darling, I'm going to be late for my meeting."

Padme nodded and stood up to walk him out. When they had reached the door, Bail rubbed her shoulders in an awkward attempt at comfort.

"Don't worry about him. He's just quiet. I'm sure he'll speak in time." He laughed lightly, trying to lighten the mood but he knew he was failing miserably.

Padme nodded again, unable to find her voice from her present predicament. Bail couldn't think of anything else to say or do so he merely pecked her on the cheek and closed the door behind him. For once, Padme found herself not wanting to him to leave. Reluctantly, she turned back to find Anakin staring at her intensely. She nervously ran her hands down her sides, and walked to where Anakin was sitting.

"I think I'll retire now."

Anakin simply nodded to her, continuing to glare or stare at her, she wasn't sure which one.

"So, I take it you're going to stay out here for awhile."

Again, another nod.

"Alright, well as soon as you wish to retire, you may sleep in the guest bedroom. It's right next to the refresher."

He only nodded at her again and Padme quickly fled the room, walking as fast as her feet would carry her.


	7. Close Call

Chapter Six

Anakin sat silently on Padme's veranda. He was trying his best to meditate but found it difficult to get past the overwhelming distraction that was currently sleeping in her bedroom. He knew he shouldn't let her get to him, but being near her again after all that time…was more than he could handle. She was intoxicatingly beautiful, more so than he had remembered, which surprised, pleased, and scared him all at the same time. He was intentionally avoiding her at all costs and had vowed to himself that he would only speak to her unless absolutely necessary because he knew deep down that if he starting having conversations with her, he would start to warm up to her again. And that was the last thing he wanted and needed. He was finally getting recognition around the Jedi Temple not to mention his recent Knighting, and he could not afford to let himself get involved with her again. But most importantly, he didn't think that his already bruised heart could handle another beating from her.

He sighed and allowed himself to continue his present train of thought. She was gorgeous, and still had those soulful chocolate eyes that he could always lose himself in. He sighed yet again. What had he gotten himself into? While he was grateful for the solo assignment, the fact that the assignment was Padme was far from ideal. Still, he wanted her to be safe, and since someone had to protect her, it might as well be him. In truth, he didn't really trust any other Jedi for the assignment.

Suddenly, his eyes flew open. He sensed another life form in Padme's room. Within seconds, he sprinted to her room, light saber ignited, and burst into the room. His eyes immediately centered on the bounty hunter who had a blaster pointed at a very frightened Padme.

The bounty hunter's eyes widened with shock when his eyes collided with Anakin's light saber and started firing almost immediately. Anakin easily deflected the shots and pushed them directly at the bounty hunter. Soon, the bounty hunter was hit by his own blaster shot and Anakin deactivated his light saber. He stood over the fallen bounty hunter for several moments, trying to find some incriminating evidence as to who had hired him but looked up when he heard a whimper from the bed.

He immediately walked over to the bed and winced at what he saw. Padme was curled up into a ball, crying and trembling uncontrollably. It was that moment that he realized he had never seen her cry before and he knew he couldn't do anything but comfort her.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

Padme looked up at the soft voice and the only thought she had was that those were the first words she had heard him speak since he had arrived. She shook her head in response and sat up from the bed, pulling the covers around her.

Anakin nodded, relief shining in his eyes. "Can I get you anything?"

Padme shook her head again, unable to find her voice from the trauma she had just experienced.

"I'm going to call someone to get him out of here. Until then, you can sleep in my room if you want."

Padme shook her head again. "No, I wouldn't want to take your room. I don't think I could get back to sleep anyways."

Anakin bit his lip subconsciously and nodded, having known that she would feel that way.

"It's alright, I can sleep on the couch."

Padme managed a faint smile and he fought the urge to smile back. He ushered her out to the sitting room before making his call. After security was notified of the situation, he slowly sat a cautious distance away from her on the couch. He watched her carefully and noticed that her chest was heaving rapidly and her eyes were boring into a spot on the floor.

"I didn't let it bother me before…I never saw the bounty hunters…they were never even in the same room as I was…I don't even remember seeing a body…but now, just a few minutes ago…one was pointing a blaster to my head. Another split second and I would have been dead. But you…you saved me…you didn't have to…" She trailed off and focused more intensely on any particular spot on the floor.

"This is my assignment, to protect you." He was still staring at her, almost as if he was looking directly into her soul and that frightened her. He was doing his best to hide his concern, to make her think that she was just an assignment to him, when in truth, he didn't know what he would have done if he had burst into her room a split second too late.

"But, I don't think you can stay on Coruscant. All of the assassination attempts have taken place here, right? We need to relocate but, I'm not completely sure where you would be safe."

Padme bit her lip in thought. He certainly had a point and now that there was a price on her head, there weren't many places in the galaxy where she could go unnoticed. Except…

"We could go to Naboo. The Lake Retreat there is unoccupied, at least, I think it still is. We would basically go unnoticed there and no one would be the wiser, we'd have to alert Queen Jamilla of course, but that is probably our best option."

Anakin nodded, running Padme's suggestion over in his head. That could work, it could definitely work. Now the only question was: how were they going to get there unnoticed?

"I agree. If you're safe anywhere, it's there."

Padme nodded in agreement.

"Our only problem though, is how to get there undetected. If we take any of your ships or the Council's for that matter, every bounty hunter in the galaxy will know. We need a ship that will keep us anonymous and allow us to keep a low profile until we get to the Lake Retreat."

"Well, there is one way. We could take a regular transport."

Anakin raised his eyebrows at the suggestion, surprised that she would be so clever. But then again, he had always known that. She was never one to lay down and surrender.

"We'd have to be under cover." He replied.

"Of course. I'll leave that up to your expertise. I will need tomorrow morning to make preparations with Queen Jamilla and the Senate, but after that, I think we should leave as soon as possible."

Anakin nodded in reply and took his leave to start preparing for the trip. He sighed to himself after he had put some distance between them. He had absolutely no idea how long this assignment was going to take and he was ready for it to be over for he knew that what had just occurred between them was a step in the wrong direction. They were on speaking terms again, at least where her security was concerned. But it wasn't just protocol speaking terms, it was almost conversational. He found himself aching to hear her voice again and he wanted to hit himself with disgust.

Shaking his head, he resigned himself to Padme's guest room to get everything ready. There was still one little detail that needed to be worked out and he already had one nagging idea that he refused to allow to resurface. But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense, even if the very thought of it made him cringe. There was only one way that the both of them could go on a regular transport, remain unnoticed, and still allow him to protect her.

Biting his lip and trying desperately not to wince as he typed, he added their names to the passenger list of the transport to Naboo they would be taking.


	8. The Journey Begins

Chapter Seven

Bail jogged to his fiancé's apartment in an attempt to catch her and her Jedi protector before they left for Naboo. When her door opened, he was met with the expressionless mask on the Jedi's face that had been there the previous day. He frowned and quickly let himself in when the Jedi showed no intention of opening the door any further.

"Padme? Darling, I wanted to see you before you left."

Padme appeared from her bedroom with several bags in hand. "Oh Bail, if you had come here several minutes later, you would have missed us. We were just about to leave."

"Well, then I'm just in time, aren't I?" Bail smiled brightly at her.

Padme managed a weak smile in his direction and glanced nervously at Anakin, who was staring intensely at Bail.

Bail placed a hand on her shoulder and stepped a little closer to her. "Please, take care of yourself, Padme. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."

He awkwardly took the bags from her, then turned around to Anakin and unceremoniously handed Padme's bag to the now glaring Jedi.

"Jedi Skywalker, I trust you will guard her with your life. She is without a doubt my most precious possession."

Anakin could only nod, far too shocked and outraged to even be able to think of a reply to what the man just said to him. He watched with flashing eyes as Bail leaned down and kissed Padme forcefully on the lips. His jaw clenched in both anger and disgust and yet forced himself to remain calm and collected.

Padme, on the other hand, was having a more difficult time hiding her emotions. She had to stop herself from gagging from Bail's lips on hers and when he finally released her, she somehow managed an unconvincing smile in return.

Bail smiled triumphantly and for reasons unknown to him, found the extremely menacing eyes of the Jedi Knight next to him. His face took on a puzzled expression because he just could not fathom why the Jedi would seem angry all of the sudden. He decided to shake it off and then thought nothing of it.

Bail said his goodbyes once again and then left, leaving an extremely relieved Anakin and Padme.

Once he was gone, Padme quickly walked over to Anakin and took her bags from his hands.

"You don't have to carry those. You have your own bags to carry."

Anakin nodded, regressing back to the previous night where he had given her the silent treatment. He was far too angry to speak and now was becoming even more angry at himself for letting his emotions take control of him.

"Shall we go?" Padme met his eyes, hoping that he would speak to her.

He decided that now was as good a time as any to inform her about the circumstances of their travel.

"Before we leave, I need to tell you about the disguises I came up with. We'll be traveling under the names Ben and Sabe Lightwater. And since we're listed as husband and wife, we also have to share a room. I would have preferred separate rooms, but then that would look suspicious. We need to stay as anonymous as possible so if anyone asks, we are traveling to Naboo to visit your parents. Do you have any questions?"

Padme frowned, definitely not liking this. That certainly was quite a stretch for them both, considering their past. And to have to share a room…she didn't want to think about everything that would entail. Of course, she only had one question.

"How long will the trip take?"

Anakin set his bag down on the chair and lifted his eyes at the sigh coming from the other side of the room. Padme was struggling to get one of her bags on the top shelf, but her small stature was easily winning the battle. She set the bag on the floor and sat down on the bed in defeat.

Anakin crossed the room, picked the bag up, and easily put it on the shelf. She looked up at him in exasperation and kicked off her shoes.

"Are you hungry?"

She nodded absentmindedly and lay down on the bed.

"Alright, I'll get us some food."

"Don't you want me to come with you?"

"No, the less people that see you the better."

Anakin left several moments later, leaving Padme alone to her thoughts. She glanced over at the chair and sighed at the sight of his bags. Oh that's right, he would be staying there too. Even though she had to admit it was a good idea, it was also a nightmare for her and for Anakin as well, she guessed. He made it no secret that his only business with her was his 'assignment' to protect her. It was more than obvious that he really didn't want anything to do with her. And he had every right to feel that way. What she had done was unforgivable and she didn't expect to ever earn his forgiveness for it. It had been low and painfully immature, but she knew that at the time, she had thought she was doing the right thing. But it proved to be a horrible mistake. The worst mistake of her life. But she couldn't undo what had already been done, and she knew that the fact that she would do anything to take it back simply wasn't enough either.

Still, she couldn't help but think about him, even though their relationship had been over for quite some time. He had definitely grown since she had last seen him. He was a man now, rugged-looking, with a much more muscular physique than she remembered. He had also grown at least an inch since she had seen him last and the padawan braid was long gone, replaced by much longer curly hair. He made her forget to breathe and that was a feeling she hadn't experienced since, well the last time she had been with him.

As her thoughts continued, she began to dread the next two days even more, which, according to Anakin, was how long the trip was going to take. What would have been any other girl's fantasy was her nightmare and there was no getting out of it. Not until the assassination attempts stopped at least.

She looked up as the door opened and Anakin appeared again, carrying two trays full of food. He handed one to her and she began to eat hungrily. Anakin sat down on the opposite edge of the bed, careful to put as much space between them as possible, especially given the fact that they were both on the same bed. Padme didn't need to be a Jedi to read his mind.

Tired of the never-ending silence, Anakin turned on the holonews, hoping for some kind of distraction from the temptation a mere three feet away from him. Much to his dismay, the news was currently running a story about the assassination attempts on Padme's life. Before he even had a chance to shut it off, he heard a crash and a door slam. He winced involuntarily as his own foolishness and quickly walked over to the refresher door. He knocked lightly, and when he was met with nothing but silence, he knocked again.

"I just need a few minutes. I'll alright." Was his only answer.

He sighed, feeling guilty for reminding her of the fact that her life was in grave danger. But she showed no signs of coming out of the there any time soon so he resigned himself onto the bed. He closed his eyes, telling himself that he would only rest for a few moments. But before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

* * *

Padme sat down next to the sink and could no longer control the sobs that escaped from her body. Everything that had happened the last few days came rushing back to her, making her feel extremely overwhelmed and frightened at the same time. The recent assassination attempt, her upcoming marriage to a man she couldn't stand, and now, being so near to the man that still held her heart was just too much to deal with all at once. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and resolved that now was not the time to deal with her problems. All she wanted to do was get to the Lake Retreat, then she could keep her distance from him. They were a little too close for comfort in the tiny room.

Tiredness was beginning to catch up to her and so she opened the door, only to find Anakin sleeping peacefully on what was supposed to be her bed. She smiled softly at the sight, focusing on the way his hair fell into his eyes, making him look irresistible and even more adorable. She didn't have the heart to wake him, knowing that he was probably just as tired as she was from the recent events. She bit her lip as she whirled a thought around in her head. It would be just for tonight and she certainly didn't want to sleep on the floor…

She lay down next to him on the bed and pulled the covers tightly around, grateful that Anakin hadn't taken the time to do so. She turned away from him, fearing what she would do if she continued to look into that face. Much to her surprise, she felt strangely calm and at peace with Anakin sleeping soundly beside her. She had never felt as safe in her entire life as she did at that moment. With those thoughts, she quickly fell asleep.

Several hours later, Anakin's eyes fluttered open and he rubbed them in a mixture of confusion and tiredness. He looked around and his eyes fell on the sleeping form of Padme. He sighed and realized that it was time for him to move to the floor. But he allowed himself to take one more glance at her and suddenly, he didn't want to be anywhere else at that moment. He felt more peace at that moment then he could ever remember feeling, not even when he and Padme had first been together. He sighed, knowing that he didn't have the mental strength at this hour to reason with himself.

His hand reached out to touch a strand of her hair as if it had a will of its own and he found himself enthralled at the feel of her hair. It was just as he remembered, and he could smell its sweet scent even from where he was laying. The feeling of intoxication swirled around him and he felt dizzy. Unable to control his emotions any longer, he feel back asleep, his hand still tangled in her hair.


	9. Mind Games

Chapter Eight

Padme's eyes fluttered open and she turned absentmindedly. Her eyes widened when she realized she had just rolled onto an arm. She heard a moan from the other side of the bed and dared to look in the direction the moan came from. Her eyes collided with her Jedi protector's still sleeping face and her mouth dropped open when he rolled towards her. She realized slowly that she was still lying on top of his arm and when he had rolled towards her, his other arm had flown across her waist. She sighed, thinking for a fleeting moment that this is what her life had been like if she hadn't been so incredibly stupid.

She snuggled a little closer to him and was surprised when the hand on her waist gripped her a little tighter. It was almost as if he knew subconsciously what they were doing, but that didn't really matter. It just felt right to be in his arms, to be so close to him again. It had seemed like ages since he had held her like he was now and it felt so good. She felt at home, which was the most refreshing feeling in the world since she had truly only felt this way during the short time she and Anakin had had together. Again, she felt sleep take control of her and everything faded away.

Anakin's eyes opened, ever so slowly, and he looked down at the sleeping angel in his arms. His eyes closed contently for a few more seconds, then he realized the situation he was in. His eyes flew open and he jerked Padme out of his arms, practically throwing her back onto the bed. He sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, his breath coming in sharp gasps.

Padme watched him from where she had been thrown, completely shocked to the core. She had been sleeping peacefully then was abruptly awoken when he reacted so horribly. She watched him run his hands through his hair and breathe in deeply as if he was trying to come to terms with what had happened between them the night before.

"Anakin…it's not a big deal. You shouldn't worry about it…"

He abruptly turned to look at her at the sound of her voice, his eyes narrowing at her words. "Gods, we didn't even do that when we…"

He trailed off and turned away from her, unable to finish his sentence. What he had wanted to say was that they had never been intimate like that before. And now was not the time to start that, especially with their current situation. His job, no assignment, was to protect her, not romance her. But it wasn't like he had those intentions towards her anymore.

She stared at his back, even more stunned than she had been before. That was the first time either of them had mentioned their past since they had been 'reunited', and she never would have guessed in a million years that he would be the first one to bring it up. She couldn't help but feel incredibly hurt by his actions towards her. She certainly hadn't expected him to react that way. After all, he had practically thrown her across in the bed in anger or surprise, she didn't quite know what. But she didn't respond to his hurtful words or actions, because she knew that she deserved it. He had every right to feel and act the way he did. There was no way she could respond any different.

He stood up and ran his hand through his again, in thought. Then he nodded to himself and turned to look at her. "Well, I'm hungry so I'm going to get some food. Do you want anything?"

Padme looked back at him and almost said yes, but then her emotions took over. "Why can't I come with you?"

Anakin sighed in exasperation. "I already told you."

"So what? You have one of the most recognizable faces in the galaxy. What makes you think that we haven't already been discovered?"

Anakin cringed inside because she knew he was right. God, he hadn't even considered that fact. With all the meticulous planning, he had forgotten that very important detail. He could only nod his head and allow her to follow him to the food line.

Several minutes later, while they were standing in line, an older man behind them tapped Anakin on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, but are you Anakin Skywalker?"

Padme glanced at him smugly, as if to tell him: I told you so. He smiled at her and smoothly answered the man:

"Oh no sir, but that's what everyone tells me. I don't mind being compared to such a fine looking young man."

Padme had to stop herself from rolling her eyes in disgust because the more she thought about it, the more she was angry with him for treating her the way he did earlier that morning. She almost cringed with agony as he placed his arm around her waist as if to prove the point that he wasn't Anakin Skywalker. Then he surprised them both by placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"My name's Ben Lightwater, this is my wife Sabe."

The older man nodded and shook Anakin's hand. Then, much to both Anakin and Padme's delight, the man left them alone.

They sat down several moments later with their food. Anakin sat next to her, in a lame attempt to prove that they were indeed married, but kept a safe distance away from her body.

Anakin looked up and almost choked on his food. That annoying man was back and this time, he had brought his wife. They sat down immediately across from Anakin and Padme, smiling obnoxiously.

"Hello again. I'm Kiel and this is my wife, Bea."

Anakin nodded, trying to hide a grimace while Padme tried desperately to keep herself from laughing out loud at this new development. She couldn't help but enjoy Anakin's discomfort, especially since he had done the same at her apartment.

Bea and Kiel immediately started mindless chatter and eventually started to bicker, while Anakin and Padme cast annoyed glances at each other. Suddenly, without any warning at all, Padme was thrust into the conversation.

"Sabe, dear, what do you think of it? Would you and Ben ever consider it?"

Padme blinked once, and tried to hide her confusion. She had absolutely no idea what they were bickering about. "I'm sorry, consider what?"

Bea laughed heartily and placed a hand over her heart. "Would you and Ben ever consider renewing your vows? I'm trying to get this old geezer to do it, but he doesn't want to. Really, Kiel, that' all I want…"

"Oh, I don't know. It would be pretty romantic."

Bea nodded enthusiastically, urging her to continue. Padme cast a glance at Anakin, who was already looking at her wearily. She snickered a little, and decided to have a little fun.

"Ben isn't very romantic and we haven't even been married for very long. I have to practically beg him to even kiss me before we…"

"I think that's enough, don't you, sweetheart?" Anakin quickly cut in before she could say anything else.

"Oh darling, maybe you just need to hear it. I think you just need more practice…"

Anakin kicked her from under the table, abruptly cutting off the rest of her sentence while Kiel and Bea looked on helplessly at the display. Bea decided to brave it and attempted to cut into their conversation.

"Well, how did he propose, dear?"

Anakin tried to answer for her, scared to death of what she would say, but this time, Padme cut him off.

"It was in a meadow in Naboo, our home planet. There were waterfalls and the scent of wildflowers all around us. It was very romantic…he got down on one knee and said that he had never felt more at peace in his entire life, that I made him whole, and a man. No one has ever said such beautiful words to me before…"

She trailed off, a soft smile on her face. Anakin watched her and wasn't sure what to think at that. She looked like she was in another world, off in some dream land. She looked so beautiful and happy at that moment and he couldn't decide why.

The meal ended soon after and Anakin wordlessly followed Padme back to their room. Something was nagging at him and he just had to know…

"What you said before, about the proposal, was that the way he did it?"

Padme turned to him and replied simply: "No, he didn't propose at all really."

With that, she turned back, leaving Anakin to ponder what she had just said. He had to admit he was relieved at her answer, but now, something else was nagging at him. Something that he too had thought about, night after night, day after day. But all of that was being shoved back into his face to cause him even more pain. She was the one getting married now and she was the one who had hurt him so deeply.

He followed her back into their room, more determined now than ever to keep his feelings under control.


	10. Awkward Moments

Chapter Nine

Anakin and Padme walked briskly into Theed Palace for their briefing with the Queen. Both of them wanted to spend as less time as possible there, for fear that the past would continue to catch with them.

When they had finally reached the throne room, Anakin was faintly reminded of a ball that took place ages ago, where he was reunited with an angel…but that time had passed and he shot back to reality when Padme and Queen Jamilla began to talk about her situation. He listened patiently as Padme relayed the details about their planned stay at the Retreat. His eyes shot up when the Queen directed a question towards him.

"Master Jedi, I was informed that there was another assassination attempt on the Senator's life shortly before you left. Please tell me what you've planned for her security. It would be a great tragedy if anything should befall our beloved Senator."

Anakin nodded and quickly cast a concerned glance towards Padme, who was trying to hide her grimace at the mention of the recent assassination attempt.

"It seems as if the assassins, most likely bounty hunters, are getting bolder. That's why it's imperative that we stay as unnoticed as possible. While we're at the Lake Retreat, no one will be allowed to enter without clearance and I've made sure that all servants and any handmaidens are sent back to the Palace to make it look like no one is there. Besides that, I promise you that I won't allow anything to happen to her."

The Queen smiled brightly at the young Jedi, feeling more reassured after speaking with him directly.

"Well then, it seems that you have everything under control Master Jedi. If there is anything that I can do for you, I mean anything, do not hesitate to notify me."

"Thank you, your majesty."

After bowing respectfully, they started to head towards the way they had came, but then Padme stopped them.

"No, this way is faster."

She turned directions and he decided to follow her, even though as they continued to walk, he realized where they were in the palace. He dared to look to his right and there it was, their pillar, as he had liked to think of it. He licked his lips hastily and could almost taste her skin as he had so long ago. He closed his eyes and heard her soft laughter ringing in his ears, musically tormenting his soul. His eyes were unable to draw themselves away from the pillar as they walked closer and he realized his breathing matched their quick pace.

Padme glanced at him, confused at the change in his demeanor. Then her eyes followed the direction his was focused and she knew. Her heart began to pound at the memories that followed through her mind and she found that she welcomed them wholeheartedly. Being back at the Palace brought so much back, so many wonderful yet painful memories.

It was then that she realized that Anakin didn't seem to feel the same way. He looked like he was being emotionally and physically inflicted with terrible pain. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were transfixed solely on that pillar where they had stolen passionate kisses. She felt her anger towards him continue to rise when she realized that he had yet to utter her name. She couldn't understand why that bothered her so much, but it did. And his continuously hurtful reactions to reminders of their past only added to her anger and annoyance towards him. She gritted her teeth and prayed that they would get to the Lake Retreat as soon as humanly possible.

Fortunately for Padme, Anakin had similar thoughts and drove the speeder as fast as he could. When they finally got there, he was slightly relieved when Padme hurried to her bedroom and only came out to eat a wordless dinner with him. He resigned himself to his own bedroom and was just about to get into bed when he realized that he had forgotten to make sure everything was alright in Padme's room. He had been too concerned with keeping his distance from her that he had completely disregarded the job he was supposed to be doing.

He sighed and put his robe back on. He headed to Padme's room and knocked on the door. He frowned when there was no answer, but just knocked again. Again, no answer. He was starting to become concerned and knocked more furiously this time. No answer. Now, he knew something was terribly wrong. He took a step back and kicked the door open.

"Padme! Are you in here?"

Still no answer. He was beginning to become frantic now and he hurriedly ran from corner to corner of her rooms. For the first time since they had been reunited, he found himself desperately wanting to see her beautiful face and hear her melodious voice.

"Padme!"

Padme froze in the refresher. Was her mind playing tricks on her? Did she really just hear that? She heard him calling out to her again and her heart began to pound in her chest. Maybe now he would at least regard her as a human being instead of the heartless, cold monster he seemed to think she was. When he called out to her yet again, she quickly realized that he was starting to sound panicked and quickly left the refresher.

"Anakin, I'm fine…"

He turned at the sound of her voice, incredible relief washing over him, but when he saw her, his eyes practically popped out of their sockets. His mouth dropped open slightly at the sight of her and it curved upward into a smile.

"I…uh…I thought that…" He couldn't get out any more words, he just stopped and stared at her, still slightly smiling, now a little more smugly.

Padme looked at him in confusion, then remembered that in her haste, she had forgotten to throw a robe on. She was wearing an extremely low-cut, tight, and very transparent nightgown that showed way too much cleavage. No wonder Anakin was smiling.

She quickly ran back into the refresher while Anakin had turned his back towards her. He ran his hand through his hair in embarrassment and muttered to himself, "Oh gods, not again…"

He immediately decided that he should do what he came there to do, so he started to check under her bed for nothing in particular, anything to get his mind off of what he had just seen. It was surreal, like he was being shot back into the past, but he knew that this night was different somehow. Maybe it was because he was more mature now. He had seen more in the last two years than he cared to think about, not to mention the suffering she had caused him. Maybe it was because his feelings towards her had changed. When he had first been put into that uncomfortable situation, he had just found her again and was beginning to realize that he was falling in love with her. Now, in the same situation, he was reminded of what he could never have, of what he kept telling himself he didn't want.

Padme emerged within a matter of moments, dressed in a more appropriate robe which covered her from her neck to her toes. She didn't want any skin showing at this point, especially after she had seen the look on Anakin's much too handsome face. She realized that there were certain memories that didn't need to be relived, as her eyes fell to her bed.

"What are you doing in here anyways, Anakin?" She asked, somewhat haughtily and placed a hand on her hip.

Anakin looked up from under the bed, almost hitting his head in the process, and stood up to meet her eyes. "I just wanted to make sure everything was secure here. You know, no bugs, hidden cameras, anything like that."

She nodded quickly and walked past him to get to her vanity. "I heard you yelling for me. Is everything ok?"

He bit his lip, reluctant to tell her that he had been worried about her. "I…uh…was knocking and you didn't answer so…I broke down the door."

Her brow furrowed in confusion and her eyes quickly found the mangled door. A small smile crept to her lips and a little laugh escaped from her mouth. Soon, she was having a hard time breathing she was laughing so hard.

"What?" Anakin was at a complete loss with the woman. He had absolutely no idea what was so funny.

She just looked at him and doubled over again in laughter. "Anakin, you broke my door!"

He looked at the door, then looked back at Padme. "So?"

That just caused her to laugh even harder. "Never mind."

He just shook his head at her and continued his search of the room. She followed him a little bit, with her head tilted a little to the side. She studied his every movement, so fluid and athletic, and realized that he was truly extraordinary. He had become a great Jedi and she knew, even from just looking at him now, that he would just continue to grow.

She found herself smiling while she continued to watch him move around her room. After he was done, he nodded to her and headed back to his room across the hall. She sighed, almost contently, and crawled into bed.

Several hours later, Padme abruptly awoke from her sleep. Her wide eyes scanned the dark room and she noticed that the window was open a crack. She quickly got up and closed it, then without warning, she thought she saw a shadow move near her closet. That was all she needed. Within seconds, she was out the door and running towards Anakin's room.


	11. Sleep Remedy

Chapter Ten

"ANAKIN!"

He shot out of bed at the sound of her frightened voice and quickly threw on his robe over his bare chest. He opened the door and collided with Padme's heaving body. He held her, and at the same time, tried to make her calm down so she could tell him what was happening.

"It's alright now. Just take a deep breath."

He paused as he watched her breathing become more normal and he placed his hands on his shoulders for added relief.

"Now tell me. What's going on?"

"I woke up and I saw something in my room."

He nodded quickly and reached for his light saber. He turned back to her and gestured for her to go into his room.

"Stay in there until I get back. Don't answer the door for anyone but me, understand?"

She nodded, her eyes shining with fear and a little worry for him. Once she was safely inside his room, he shut the door behind him and stalked off to investigate.

* * *

Anakin sighed in defeat. After searching every inch of Padme's room, he had found absolutely nothing, not even a trace that someone had been there. He scratched his head, wondering wearily if maybe she was just seeing things. He couldn't really blame her though. After all, her life was in constant danger.

He sighed one more time and headed back to his room to let Padme know everything was alright. He pushed open the door and his heart almost broke at the sight in front of him. Padme was curled up on his bed, her back towards him, and he could see her trembling even from where he stood.

He walked over to her cautiously and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, trying not to wince as she jumped at his touch. She turned to face him and he bit his lip when he immediately noticed her tear stained cheeks.

"It's safe now, Padme. There's no one there."

"Are you sure?"

"I checked everything out. You're fine now."

She nodded and let him help her off the bed. She clung to him as he walked her back to her room, feeling completely drained from tiredness and fear.

When they finally made it back to her room, she looked around frightened, as if she was afraid that someone would jump out of the shadows and strike her down on the spot. Anakin watched her, concern sweeping over him, and he led her back to her bed. When she was settled, he arranged the covers around her and laid a comforting hand on her cheek.

"You're ok, now. I promise. If you need anything, I'm just right down the hall."

She nodded, seeming a little more comforted at his reassurance. She watched him leave the room and she sighed when she saw the door close. Her eyes darted around the room in agitation, as if she was just waiting for an assassin to show up at any moment. She sighed again and forced her eyes to close, hoping beyond hope that sleep would come.

It didn't. Within a matter of moments, she was out of bed and running to Anakin's room.

* * *

Anakin had finally settled comfortably in bed and his eyes were beginning to peacefully close, when he heard the soft patting of feet coming in his direction. He tried to block it out, wanting the sleep his body so desperately needed. He cautiously opened one eye only to find Padme standing over his bed. He rubbed his temple with one hand in mock annoyance, but found that she was not amused.

"Anakin, I can't sleep." She whispered.

He propped his elbows up on the bed so he could look at her more closely in the dark and realized that she really was scared.

"Well, what would you like me to do about this, milady?"

She knelt down by his bed and looked him right in the eye to show him that she wasn't kidding around.

"I mean it, Anakin. I'm scared. What if someone's in there right now, just waiting for the right moment to slit my throat or something?"

His face softened drastically at her words and he fought the urge to reach out and touch her.

"What can I do, Padme? Just tell me and I'll do it." He whispered.

He sounded more sincere in that moment than she had ever heard him speak the entire she had known him and she could feel any walls she had constructed around herself begin to tumble. She was melting for him, even in her intense fear for her own life, he was beginning to surpass anything else that was remotely important to her.

She knew what she wanted to say to him. It was just a matter of finding the courage to say it. But she knew that she had to.

"Will you stay with me…just for tonight?"

Anakin hesitated for a moment, wondering if that was such a good idea. Honestly, he didn't think he would be able to sit in the same room as her knowing that she was in a bed. But then again, if that's what it took to make her feel safe then that's what he had to do.

"Ok, Padme."

She smiled brightly, grateful that he had agreed because she knew that she was asking a lot.

Suddenly, Anakin remembered a very important detail that would definitely put a damper on his ability to get out of bed. He hesitantly looked down at the covers and then back at Padme, a sheepish grin spreading across his handsome features.

"Umm…could you turn around so I can get out of bed?"

Padme's face contorted in confusion. "Why?"

Anakin rubbed his forehead in embarrassment and couldn't look at her when he finally spoke again. "I…uh…I don't have any clothes on."

Padme's mouth dropped open out of shock and complete disbelief. "Wh…what did you say?"

He groaned in agony and looked up at her with exasperation. "You heard me. Now, please turn around so I can put my damn clothes on!"

She suppressed a quick giggle from escaping her mouth and obliged him. A thought ran through her mind for a split second, but she immediately shook her head. As much as she would love to take a peek…

"Alright. Let's go."

She followed him out of his room and managed to keep a safe distance away from him while trying desperately not to continuously picture him naked. When they finally arrived back in her room, she quickly crawled back into bed while he pulled up a chair next to her bed.

"Thank you, Anakin. You didn't have to do this, you know."

He sighed softly and looked deeply into her eyes. "I know."

She smiled up at him and closed her eyes. Sleep could come now. Anakin was here.


	12. Picnic

Chapter Eleven

Padme twisted the soft blade of grass in her hand absentmindedly, trying to not to look at Anakin, who was also playing with a few blades of grass. She sighed, knowing that it had taken much convincing on her part to get him to come here with her. She had known full well that the idea of having even more time alone was unbearable for him, if not annoying. She had had to practically beg him to come to the meadow with her, praising its beauty and peace in an attempt to win him over. He had reluctantly agreed, but he made it no secret that he didn't like the idea one bit.

She cast him another glance and sighed wearily as images of him the night before flashed through her head. Well, at least now she knew how he had felt all the times he had caught her with hardly any clothes on. Still, a huge part of her really wished she had caught a glimpse of him under the covers. But then again, that would definitely give her thoughts that she should not have. After all, she was an engaged woman. She could almost laugh out loud at have easily she had forgot that the moment Anakin came back into her life.

She looked at him again and was beginning to feel annoyed by his silence. Even if he didn't want to be there, he didn't have to ruin the day for her. She had been looking forward to coming here, especially since she had known that Anakin would have to accompany her.

"Anakin…"

His eyes collided with hers the second his name left her mouth and he waited expectantly for her to continue.

"Anakin, why won't you talk to me?"

He shrugged indifferently and went back to fumbling with the blades of grass while she sighed in exasperation.

Her mind rolled defiantly as she thought of the best way to get him to talk.

"You asked me before how Bail proposed. Do you still want to know?"

He chewed on his bottom lip as he tossed the idea around in his head. Yes, he needed to know. But then again, he really didn't want to know either. But he had to know…so he nodded his head in response.

"He didn't propose. I know I already told you that. He proposed to my mother, from a certain point of view I suppose."

Anakin furrowed his brow at her words. She had his attention, but he still wasn't sure that was such a good thing.

"My mother was convinced that he was a good match for me. She pursued him for me, in a way. She arranged meetings and dinners, everything. Our 'relationship', it that's what you want to call it, was completely orchestrated by her. I really had nothing to do with it. A few weeks after courting me, he asked my mother for her permission to marry me and she, of course, said yes. I didn't even hear about from him, my mother told me the next day."

Anakin watched her remorsefully as she spoke, feeling her pain right along with her. It wasn't fair and she didn't deserve that. Especially since she could do far better than Organa. His blood ran cold at the very mention of that man. He had despised Organa from the moment he met him purely because he had seen his intentions towards Padme in his eyes. Two years later that was still reason enough to hold a grudge, better yet, feel an intense loathing for him.

He was painfully unable to meet her gaze so he looked away as he replied. "I'm sorry. It shouldn't have to be that way."

She nodded sadly. "I agree."

He attempted to smile at her reassuringly, but the smile quickly faded when he realized that she needed no reassuring.

"So…when's the wedding?"

"A few weeks."

He winced involuntarily at that, feeling the wounds he had suffered so deeply begin to open up again.

"I can tell you're not particularly excited about this?"

She looked away immediately. Why did he seem to know everything about her, yet he always seemed so distant? It was almost as if he was mocking her every move, waiting for her to falter in some way so he could mock her again. His eyes seemed to pierce her very soul and she felt like he was invading her every thought. And maybe he was.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

He held his hands up in mock defense. "You're the one that brought it up."

She sighed in further exasperation and looked away from him. She knew that if she looked at him, all she would find was a sarcastic grin.

In truth, Padme had it all wrong. Anakin was waging a war within himself, not knowing which direction to turn, which path to follow. He truly felt sorry for her, almost guilty that he hadn't been there to help her through it. But then, he remembered the pain and suffering she had so carelessly pressed down on him and then it was increasingly difficult to feel remorse for her situation. The more he thought about it, the more confused he became. He cared for her; more deeply than he cared to admit, but just because she wasn't happy with her fiancé, didn't mean that she still harbored feelings for him. He wasn't about to put both his heart and career on the line for a woman who had already hurt him.

He cast her a sideways glance and knew that the present conversation was over. At least some of his questions were answered about Organa. He certainly felt relieved that she seemed upset by her upcoming marriage. She didn't even seem to like Organa at all. He hoped she would have the strength to get herself out of that mess.

He looked at her again, only to find that she too was casting a glance his way. He grinned in spite of the somber situation, causing her lips to curve upwards in turn. The recent conversation was now happily forgotten and he found her gorgeous smile again. It was the very same smile that had pierced his heart that fateful night on Naboo. It seemed so long ago, but in reality it wasn't. The wounds sparked by that night still ran deep within both of them. He still felt intense pain whenever he even cast her a glance while she continuously struggled with the guilt that all of this was entirely her fault.

He was still watching her…and still needed more answers. He couldn't let go until he knew.

It seemed like hours passed in uncomfortable silence. Neither one spoke and only managed to glance at each other every once in awhile. Each felt intensely awkward with the other and the afternoon dragged on much to the dismay of Anakin and Padme. Finally, Anakin decided that he had had enough.

"We should probably head back now, Padme."

She nodded absentmindedly while he continued: "Later tonight, we need to talk. I could make a fire in the sitting room if you want. But regardless, there are some questions that I need answering."

She swallowed; grateful that the would-be-romantic afternoon from hell was finally over, but she knew exactly what questions he was going to ask and that made her incredibly nervous . All she needed to do now was figure out what the answers were.


	13. Fireside Confrontation

Chapter Twelve

She watched him with nervous eyes as he put the last log onto the calming fire. He walked back over to her and sat next to her on the couch, causing her stomach to flutter even more intensely. She had been dreading this from the moment they had arrived back at the Retreat from the not-so-peaceful picnic they had both endured in the meadow.

He watched her carefully, taking notice of the sharp intake of her breath and the slight heaving of her chest. She was nervous for what she was going to tell him…the only question was what she was going to tell him. He needed to know. He needed to know why he was suffering the way he was. And more importantly, he needed to know if she still loved him. He almost winced at the word 'love', a word that he hadn't associated with her in two years. But it was time to discover the cause of his demons and hopefully, finally put them to rest.

He took a deep breath and began his interrogation. "I just want to know why. Tell me why."

She bit her lip and tried desperately to stop herself from crying already. It wasn't time for tears. If need be, that would have to come later.

She suppressed a loud sob and met his intense blue eyes. "It's not what you think, Anakin. It's not that…"

"It's not what, Padme? You ripped my heart out and stomped on it. You know what? There's no good reason for what you did to me. But I need your reason. I have to know. So tell me…"

He had to calm himself down after that outburst. He had lashed out at her, he hadn't meant to do it, but he couldn't control it. Something just took over him and he lost it for a moment.

She looked up at him and took a shaky breath. He was right. Everything he had said was absolutely right. There was no good reason for what she had done to both of them. The more she thought about it, the more she realized what a dumb fool she had been.

"A few weeks after you left Theed, my mother came to visit me. Somehow, she had found out about you. She told me that any relationship we had would destroy both our personal and professional lives. She said you would be kicked out of the Order. She said my reputation as a politician would be tainted. At the time, everything she said to me made sense. I didn't want you to risk your career for me…"

"And you weren't willing to risk yours for me, either?"

She winced at his comment, feeling the horrible truth. She had been young and foolish. But that was still no excuse for hurting the one person that she loved more than life itself.

"Anakin…it wasn't like I stopped loving you. I just thought that it was better to end it before things got too complicated."

He shook his head furiously. "You should have talked to me. We could have figured something out."

"Could we have? What if you had gotten hurt or even killed in some battle and I never got to see you again? Did you ever think of that?"

"Yes, I did. I thought of that every day until I got that damned letter. Do you really think I would ever want you to suffer like that? Of course not. But who are you to say what will or will not happen? Life is just one huge risk. You have to take chances. And you weren't willing to take a chance on us. I don't understand that. I would have done anything for you. It was better to…" He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence for fear of what he would reveal to her.

"What?" She needed to know what he was about to say. She felt an urgency to know that was consuming her every moment that he hesitated.

"It was better to have loved you, then to have never loved you at all."

She looked away from him, her heart weighing down into her chest. There was nothing she could say. She had hurt him as deeply as she had hurt herself. And for what?

His eyes bore into her face, desperate for some reaction to his words. But he got nothing. Didn't she care?

"What are you saying, Anakin?"

There it was. The question was out there now. Did he still love her? Did she still love him? That question was almost too powerful, to overbearing to answer with a simple yes or no. It needed to be explained, expressed in a way that only they could understand.

He hesitated with his answer, knowing that if he said what had been in the back of his mind since the moment he was reunited with her, there would be no going back. His heart would once again be on the line and he needed to a moment to gather enough courage to do it one more time.

"I've been dying a little bit every day since you sent that letter, Padme. Every day the pain cuts me a little deeper. You're haunting me. You're in my very soul and even after everything that's happened between us, I don't know if I ever want you to leave it. You see, ever since I've been near you again, I've realized that I'll never be able to get you out of my system. I've been trying to tell myself that you're just going to hurt me again, but somehow, I'm not sure if that's completely true. I've seen the way you've been looking at me and I know you still have feelings for me. Please, if you're suffering as much as I am, please tell me. I'll do anything you ask…"

She was speechless. His words awoke the passions that still swirled within her after two years of separation. She knew that her love for him had only grown stronger throughout the time she had been without him. In a way, she was still surprised that he would even consider reconciling with her after everything that had happened. That could only mean that he still really loved her. He loved her enough to see past that and give her another chance. Still…there was one thing that pulled her in the opposite direction.

Her breath began to come in short gasps as he reached out and stroked her cheek gently. He could see her inner struggle and he had known that struggle well. But he was finished fighting his feelings. If she rejected him now…he would just have to deal with it. He was tired of the games, the tension, and the discomfort he felt every time he merely looked at her.

He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against hers. He moved back, waiting for her reaction and was pleasantly surprised when she leaned closer to him, begging for more of his touch. He obliged her without a second thought and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Both felt their bodies become consumed by the fire that had threatened to explode every time they looked at each other. He drew her closer and closer until the space between them was permanently closed and he felt her clinging to him for dear life.

He swept her into his arms and swiftly carried into the first bedroom he could find. He gently laid her onto the soft bed and found himself on top of her in a matter of seconds. He suddenly felt a wave of doubt cloud his mind when he realized that maybe they were moving too fast. But then he remembered the other time they had stopped themselves and he had wished he could take that back every day.

His eyes silently begged the question he was burning to ask and she hesitated for a moment. The longer she looked into the eyes, the further she fell into him. There was no going back now and the time for thinking had long passed.

She nodded eagerly to him and his lips curved into a handsome grin before catching her mouth in yet another passionate kiss. Their hands moved over each other's bodies, hurriedly ridding their bodies of the boundaries between them.

They were falling, crashing with a fervent force that would not let them go. The point of not return was long gone as they fell deeper into each other's embrace and deeper in love, the consequences the farthest thing from their minds. That could be dealt with in the morning. For now, they would surrender.


	14. Rejection

Chapter Thirteen

Padme's eyes fluttered open and she sighed contentedly. She stretched her arms out the side and her eyes widened slightly when she brushed up against another body. She turned her head only to find Anakin's sleeping form next to her. Suddenly, the events of the night before came rushing back to her and she quickly got out of bed and put on her robe.

She strode out to the veranda, leaned against the railing and sighed deeply. What had they done? Better yet, what had she done? She allowed it to happen…their night of bliss and ecstasy. She closed her eyes tightly as image upon image of the night before flew up at her. It had been everything she had known that it would and she had to stop herself from smiling when she remembered that he had reached for her again in the middle of the night.

But still, there was a faint alarm going off in her head that she couldn't ignore. Even if they could get past the obvious obstacles like their careers, there was one huge one right smack in the middle of it. Bail…she didn't even love him. And he didn't even hold a candle to Anakin. But she had made a commitment to him. For reasons that she still didn't completely understand, she was engaged to a man she couldn't stand and the man she truly loved was out of reach because of it.

Looking out onto the beautiful crystal-clear lake, she felt an overwhelming feeling of helplessness that she knew would be present long after her wedding day. What could she do? She loved Anakin more than she could ever express, but then there was Bail and so much more than that. It felt like it was out of hands, like she was already bound to him even though her heart had been bound to Anakin for far longer.

It was a battle of heart and mind, one that Padme wasn't sure her heart could win. There was too much to think about, so many things to consider that made her head start to spin. If only there was a simple way of solving this overwhelming problem…

She took a quick glance at Anakin and sighed with relief when she saw that he was still sleeping. She couldn't face him just yet. She had too many things to think about before she talked to him.

As if on cue, she felt a pair of warm arms encircle her and felt comforting lips on her neck.

"Good morning." He whispered softly into her ear.

She turned her head and smiled up at him in spite of the thoughts that were brewing in her at that moment.

"I couldn't let you enjoy the view all by yourself, now could I?"

He smiled brightly down at her but it quickly faded when he felt the tension within her.

"What…what is it? You know you can tell me…"

She grimaced at the concern in his voice and couldn't turn to look at him until he had to place his hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Padme…you're starting to scare me…"

This time, she looked at him, her face somber with pain and guilt. She couldn't do it…she couldn't look him in the eyes and break his heart all over again, especially after the night they had just had. Everything was going so well, everything had fallen into place as it should be. But circumstances were getting in the way again and she didn't know what to do. It was too much, too much so soon.

Everything seemed to catch up with her all at once and she started to feel dizzy. She could feel him touching her arm to steady her and he was saying something to her, but everything was blurry and fuzzy.

When she finally got a hold of herself, she took one look at him and fled.

* * *

Anakin watched her escape him, too shocked to run after her. He shook his head in disbelief and looked back to where she had been seconds ago, only to find that she really was gone. He didn't know how to react to what he just witnessed. For being the Chosen One, he had absolutely no idea what to do about this woman. One minute she was hot, then cold the next. He couldn't read her emotions because he knew they would change in an instant.

Within a matter of moments, his senses cleared and the sleep was shaken out of him. He was completely confused, hurt, and angry by what she had just done. They had come so far…he had just had the best night of his entire life…and now, she was doing it to him all over again. She was going to rip out his heart bit by bit.

Without further hesitation, he headed in the direction she had fled to, determination his main driving force. Once more, he was desperately seeking answers. But this time, he knew the heartbreak that could follow was far more fatal than what he was risking the night before. She had given in to her feelings the night before and he had been granted restored hope for a future with her. Now, he needed to know why she wanted to throw all that away.

* * *

Padme burst into the first room she could find and sat down in frustration. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She was supposed to be happy because she was finally with the man she loved; only she couldn't stay with him. For reasons she couldn't completely understand, she felt obligated to her promise to Bail, even though she knew that she hadn't actually had the promise to him. It was more like a promise to her mother.

She sighed at the thought of her overbearing mother. She had absolutely no idea why she did everything her mother said…suddenly, a loud beep shot her attention from her thoughts.

It was Bail.

"Darling, I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was alright."

Padme suppressed a grimace and a loud groan at the sickening sight of her fiancé. "Don't worry, everything is fine here. We haven't had any problems."

"Ah yes, I trust the Jedi is taking care of you properly?"

"Of course. Could we expect anything less from a Jedi?"

Bail chuckled loudly. "Why yes, that's what he's here for right?"

Padme forced herself to smile at that, while clenching her fist in anger and annoyance under the table where Bail couldn't see.

"Is that all you needed?"

"Oh…yes, yes…I'll check back in a few days. Take care."

Padme only faintly smiled back at Bail's image before quickly shutting it off. She got up to leave, but froze in place at the sight of Anakin in her doorway. She knew without a doubt that he had heard her entire conversation with Bail. There were several awkward moments of silence before Anakin finally spoke after the agonizing torture.

"So that's all I am to you? Your Jedi and inside joke with your fiancé?" He spit out, practically choking on the word fiancé.

Padme rubbed her temples before daring to look at him. When she finally did, his face was red and it more than obvious that he was seething now.

"Anakin…"

"Don't even start, Padme. We're right back to where we started, aren't we? Ok, so what? You're going to through away everything to stay with him? You don't love him, Padme. You never did and never will. I don't understand you. Everything was going so great…I love you and I know you love me…just please, don't do this to me…not again…"

His voice softly faded out at those last words. He felt his heart crushing again, only this time, the pain was far worse. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair if they weren't together. That was how it was supposed to be. He had always known that that was how it was going to be. He took one look at her tear-stained face and couldn't bear to look at her anymore for fear that he would try to take her in his arms only to be rejected again. He didn't even give her a chance to reply to him…he left before she could even open her mouth to speak.

Padme sat back down and curled herself up into a tiny ball, tears running down her cheeks. She had done it again. She was a monster and deserved every pain imaginable in the world for what she had just done to the love of her life. She sighed; her happiness was too short-lived. But at least, in some way, she had known that happiness with Anakin, because she knew that as soon as she married Bail, any chance at happiness would be forever erased.


	15. A Revelation

Chapter Fourteen

The streets of Naboo were characteristically busy, filled with the bustle of city life. There were always vendors of some kind around, shops, and restaurants on every corner. However, this particular Nubian street was hopelessly quiet. It was as if every house on this street was deserted, much to the dismay of Anakin and Padme, who were desperately trying to keep as much distance between themselves as possible.

They were currently on their way to her parents' house after Jobal Naberrie had made a frantic call to the Lake House, requesting that Padme and her Jedi protector come immediately so she could see for herself that Padme was indeed alive. Padme reluctantly agreed, and mumbled after her mother had ended the transmission that she should just come herself. Why did everything have to be the way she wanted it to be? Telling Anakin of their new plans had proven to be a difficult feat because she had had to explain all this to a 'meditating' Jedi who was pretending not to listen. It was frustrating beyond words, but yet, she had to admit that she deserved it.

It had been only two days since their relationship had abruptly started back up and ended, but it felt like it had been at least two years. Anakin had avoided her like the plague since he had overheard her conversation with Bail and she had given up trying to at least talk to him.

She sighed at the thought of visiting her family with him. Awkward was putting it mildly and in truth, she felt horrible that Anakin would have to be subjected to the interrogation she was sure would follow the moment her mother discovered who he really was to her.

They walked up the somewhat steep steps to the Naberrie residence and Anakin took the moment of peace to survey Padme's home. It wasn't huge, but it was inviting nonetheless, surrounding by the aroma of sweet flowers that almost reminding him of the scent of Padme's hair. He winced slightly at that thought and quickly glanced at her. At that moment, her brow was furrowed pensively, and she was still the beautiful angel he had met when he was nine. But…she wasn't so angelic now.

Anakin was thrown from his thoughts as Jobal threw open the door and immediately drew her daughter into an embrace.

"Padme! I'm so glad you're here! We've been hearing the most awful things!"

"Mother, it's alright. Nothing's happened to me yet. Just a few attempts, it's really ok."

"Oh Padme, it is not ok. How could it possibly be ok…"

"It's ok, because I have my Jedi protector with me."

Jobal's eyes narrowed slightly and her gaze shifted to the expressionless Jedi. She took one more glance at Padme and watched her daughter gaze nervously up at the Jedi. And then she knew.

"Yes…well, I'm sure he's happy to help you however he can, right?"

Padme's mouth opened to speak, her eyes wide, but she couldn't find the words to reply. Anakin, however, was now narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Padme's mother, coming to the realization for the first time since he had met her that this was the woman who had not only talked Padme into breaking up with him but also into an arranged marriage.

"Mother, I think we should go in now. Dad's probably worried sick."

Once they had entered the house, Padme was immediately bombarded by her father. He took her quickly into his arms and hugged her tightly, whispering into her ear. When the exchange was finally over, Ruwee noticed Anakin and reached out to shake his hand.

Anakin took it and nodded in respect towards the man.

"Thank you, Jedi Skywalker, for everything you've done for my daughter. You've saved her life just by being here and I can't tell you how much that means to our family."

"Thank you, sir. And don't worry, I'll protect her with my life."

Ruwee nodded, trusting the young man completely. He good-naturedly led Anakin further into the house to give him a tour and Jobal took that opportunity to pounce.

"So tell me, Padme, are you and the Jedi getting along well?"

Padme swallowed nervously, knowing full well that she had be careful with her words. "Yes…"

"Don't even try to lie to me. I know who he is. You didn't even have to tell me."

Padme's mouth dropped open in shock and she couldn't do anything but gape at her mother.

"Listen, Padme, I don't know what you think you're doing, but you have to remember that you're getting married soon. You can't act like this when you're married…"

"Mother, just stop it. I didn't choose him to be my protector, the Council did. If it was up to me, I would have sent him to the furthest planet imaginable."

Jobal sat back, clearly surprised by her daughter's response. Something didn't seem right here. There was more to this than Padme was letting on.

"Dear, I just want to make sure that you're not going to ruin your life."

Padme paused, almost losing the courage to say it, but finally decided that for once in her life, she would tell her mother how she really felt. "It's already ruined, Mother. I shouldn't tell you this, but I will anyway. I still love him, and I'm pretty sure he still loves me, even though I may have ruined that too. I know that I shouldn't, that I'm getting married, but the truth is, I don't want to marry Bail. You pushed me into it whether you'll admit it or not. I don't love him, I don't even like him. I'm not happy with this at all."

This time, it was Jobal's turn to drop her mouth in shock. She couldn't believe what Padme had just uttered. She had openly admitted her love for the Jedi and on top of that, admitted that she didn't want to marry her fiancé. She hadn't wanted to do this…but maybe it was time to tell her daughter the truth.

"Padme, the wedding date has been pushed up."

"What…I thought it wasn't for another three months."

"It's next week."

"No…mother, please…that's too soon."

"I'm sorry, but that was Bail's decision, not mine. He just informed me of that actually."

"I just spoke to him not too long ago. Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"I honestly don't know, dear. I wish I could tell you. But there's something that you need to know. I haven't spoken of this in quite awhile…but you deserve to know everything. It's important."

She paused and looked at her daughter meaningfully before continuing. "I was in love with a Jedi too once. He was brave and handsome and charming and all the things I'm sure your Jedi is too. I was about your age when we met; he was on a mission here on Naboo when I was a handmaiden for the Queen. It wasn't long before we were stealing kisses in deserted rooms and taking every spare second to see each other. But he was called away much too soon from me and we wrote to each other almost every day. Then one day, his Master found one of my letters to him and forbade him to ever write or speak to me again. He managed to write me one last letter to explain things…but I never heard from him again after that. He left me heart broken and it took me a long time to ever allow myself to love again."

"Mother…I…"

"Don't get me wrong, Padme. I love your father very much, it's just that…it was never the same with him. I suppose there will always be a part of me that will love my Jedi. I suppose I've never really gotten over him. Sometimes…I take out the only picture I have of him and wonder what my life would have been like if things had worked out the way I thought they would. But he couldn't betray the Order and he couldn't disobey his Master. He chose that life before me and that's something that I've had to live with every day. He's dead now…but I can't help but think of him every day. Maybe…in the after life, I'll see him again…"

She smiled through the tears that now flowed down her cheeks and quickly realized that maybe she had given her daughter too much information. "Do you see now why I wanted you to stay away from that Jedi? It was only a matter of time until he ended it anyways and I didn't want you to have to experience the pain that I did."

"Oh mother…I'm so sorry you had to go through all that…I wish you had told me this sooner…why have you never spoken of this before?"

"Like I told you, he's dead. After he died, a part of me died with him. I couldn't bear to think of him, but I still do. But, I thought there would be no way I could ever speak of him. But you needed to know this."

"Thank you for telling me. But there's something you need to know too. You should have told me that two years ago and let me make my own decision about Anakin. The situations might have been similar, but Anakin and I are different people than you two were. How do you know that Anakin wouldn't haven acted differently? I just wish you had given me a chance to make my own decision about it…I could have saved myself so much pain and saved Anakin from more than I could possibly imagine. He loves me, Mother, I know he does. I can't help but think that he would give up everything for me. He's never said it, but I don't think he has to."

"Padme…maybe you're right. I was just so scared that you would have to go through what I did. I didn't want you to share my fate. Forgive me. I hope I haven't ruined everything that could've been for you."

"Mother…"

"And if you want to end your engagement with Bail, I won't object. You need to make this decision for yourself. It's the most important one you could ever make and I was already in the process of doing it for you."

Padme could only smile through her tears and hugged her mother tightly. Everything seemed so simple now. She knew exactly what to do.

"Thank you, Mother. I know that was difficult for you. But I just have one question. What was your Jedi's name?"

Jobal smiled faintly before answering: "Qui-Gon Jinn."


	16. Death and Burial

A/N- This chapter jumps around a little in time. I did this just to move things along. Sorry if it confuses anyone. Enjoy and keep reviewing!

Chapter Fifteen

"No…mom…NO!" Anakin shot up in bed and immediately starting looking around the room for his mother. When the dark room failed to reveal the face he longed to see, he threw the covers off of him and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His hands tangled themselves in his hair as he contemplated the horrifying dream he had just had.

His mother had been suffering. She looked like she was dying…and he could feel that she was too. He knew, deep down, that this wasn't just a dream. Something horrible had happened to his mother. She was in pain and he knew that he had to something to end her suffering.

His head shot up when he felt a presence coming closer to his room. Immediately, he knew who it was: the only woman that would ever hold his heart and the only woman that would ever break it. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to her or even see her. There was no way he was going to let himself get his heart stomped a third time by her. He was so immersed in telling himself he would stay away from her that he didn't even hear her enter the room.

"Anakin?"

He winced at her voice and dreaded whatever was to come.

"Can I help you with something, milady?"

She closed her eyes for a second and tried to push away the ice in his voice. She had heard him cry out and told herself that she wasn't here for herself, she just wanted to make sure he was alright.

"I heard you…you were having a nightmare."

"Jedi don't have nightmares."

"You did. I heard you…are you alright?"

He shook his head too quickly and she knew different. Something was wrong here…and for once, it wasn't about her.

"Tell me."

He couldn't force himself to look her in the eye because he was afraid of what he might do. But for some reason, he took a deep breath and decided to tell her about the dream he had had.

"It was my mother. She was in so much pain, I could see her blood on her face, on her body…she was being tortured…I have to do something…something's wrong…something's happened."

For the first time since she had broken his heart again, he looked into her eyes. Slowly, he felt himself melting again and somehow, the pain she had caused subsided at least for the time being. She seemed so concerned, so worried about him that he couldn't help but feel that she was being sincere.

She smiled at him reassuringly and gently took his hand. He frowned slightly at her loving action and after awhile, he felt some of the tension subside and he smiled back at her.

"It was just a dream, Anakin. I'm sure she's alright."

"No…I can feel her. I can feel her slipping away. She's dying, Padme. I have to save her. I have to go to Tatooine."

She nodded in agreement, knowing that he would feel much better the minute he saw his mother safe and sound.

"Alright, we'll leave in the morning."

He smiled at her again and nodded. "Thank you."

When she left to go back to her room, Anakin watched her every movement. She was so graceful and even more precise in her every movement. She was so incredibly beautiful that it pained him to look at her, but he couldn't help it. His eyes seemed to find her no matter how much he tried to stop them.

As the door closed, he realized that he was in the exact same position he was in several weeks ago when they had finally been reunited after two years.

* * *

Anakin lifted his mother's lifeless body out of the speeder and carried it past the somber faces of Cleigg, Owen, Beru, and Padme. He set her body down and quickly retrieved a shovel from the nearby shed. 

He began digging, slowly at first, but as his rage grew, he found himself throwing sand and dirt around everywhere. He didn't even notice that his step-brother, Owen, had jumped down into the hole to help him. Once the hole was finished, the two brothers lowered their mother's body and carefully covered it.

Anakin stood by the ground that now held his mother's body and slowly knelt by the marker that bore her name. He caressed the carving and even placed his lips to it lightly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Mom. I'll never let it happen again…I promise….I miss you and I'll always love you."

He wiped the fallen tears from his cheeks and jumped when he felt a tiny hand slip into his.

"Anakin…I'm so sorry."

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Instead, he surveyed his surroundings and found that the Lars family had left them alone. He bit his lip, and felt a mixture of rage and sorrow flow through him. He didn't care what had happened between them at the moment, he needed someone to talk to. And he had always been able to talk to her.

"I killed them."

Padme's head shot up and she stared at him in a combination of shock and horror. "What did you say?"

He turned to her and looked at her now with hate in his eyes, but it wasn't directed at her.

"The Tusken Raiders that killed my mother. I killed them…even the women and children…they're all animals and I slaughtered them like animals!"

Padme stared up at him with wide eyes. She had absolutely no idea what to do or what to say. He had done something so unforgivable but he was hurting and the look in his eyes were fused with hatred, sorrow, and guilt. She knew she had to do something, anything to help him.

"Anakin…I…it wasn't your fault…you were angry…"

"NO! That doesn't excuse it…it wasn't right. I shouldn't have done what I did…I'm a Jedi…a Knight…I should've had more control."

Padme shook her head and gently took his hand. "Everyone loses control sometimes. To be angry is to be human."

Anakin furiously shook his head. He knew, deep down, that what he had done was terribly wrong. He had felt some other power take over him. Darkness had consumed him and he could still feel it lingering inside of him. It was wrong. He was a Jedi. He wasn't supposed to feel this way.

"That doesn't make it right, Padme."

"I know that, but you had every right to be angry with them."

He was silent and looked back down at his mother's grave. What he had been feeling wasn't right, and he knew that at least part of that stemmed back to two years ago, when he had allowed his feelings to think for him. He had lost control then and he had done it again with her.

"Anakin…" She paused, needing to tell him something that was important beyond words. She wasn't sure if this was the right time but he looked like he was about to fall over with grief and guilt. She had to do something.

Now he was looking at her curiously because she had just trailed off. For some reason, he needed to know whatever she was trying to tell him.

Padme looked back at him with new found strength. He needed to hear it.

"Bail moved up the wedding."

Anakin's face fell immediately and he winced involuntarily. That was what she wanted to tell him? What was she trying to do?

"Is that supposed to cheer me up?"

Padme exhaled quickly and gripped his hand tighter. "No, there's more I have to tell you. I talked to my mother when we were visiting and she cleared a lot of things up for me. You see, she didn't want me to see you because she was in love with a Jedi too. She was in love with Qui-Gon. But his Master found out about it and made him break up with her. I know now that she was just trying to protect me…I see now that I don't have to do what Qui-Gon and my mother did. We don't have to follow the same path they did. I love you, Anakin. I want to be with you."

Anakin looked down and tried to absorb everything she had just told him. A part of him leapt at her words and wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and kiss her. But then again, what if it was only a matter of time until she came to her senses? What if she realized in a few days, months, or years that she had made the wrong decision and left him again? He loved her, but he loved himself enough to understand that she had hurt him enough.

"No. Padme, we can't do this. You've walked away from me too many times. Now I'm walking away from you. Marry Bail."

With that, he let go of her hand and walked back into the Lars' home, leaving Padme to stare out into vast emptiness that now matched the feeling that had crept into her heart.


	17. Desperation

Chapter Sixteen

It wasn't long before Padme found herself completely thrown into wedding details. People were flinging fabrics, patterns, and suggestions at her left and right and the entire time all she could think of was why now? Why was her involvement so important when the wedding was the very next day? She really didn't care anyways. And she made sure that she wasn't much help either.

She quickly waved a pile of papers and magazines away from her and leaned back in her chair. She supposed all this chaos was because Bail had pushed up the wedding without much notice. But she could really care less about the wedding. After all her husband-to-be wasn't the man that she loved, so what did it matter? She had closed off all emotion, especially the ones that would involve her feelings toward Anakin.

They had left Tatooine almost immediately after she had told him how she felt. Neither spoke to the other and they had avoided eye contact at all cost. When they arrived back at the Lake Retreat, Anakin had shut himself in his room and she had quickly followed suit. She hadn't seen him since then. He kept to himself and stayed in his room. Some Jedi protector he was.

She sighed as her eyes fell on the white dress that had been laid out before her. She was to wear that the next day and it was the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. But she was going to wear it for the wrong person and now there was really nothing she could do about that. So she had shut herself off from the rest of the world, rarely allowing anyone to see her except her mother.

It really didn't matter anymore, everything she was feeling, all the pain she was suffering was of her own making. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't notice that someone had even entered the room. At the last moment, she heard soft footsteps and looked up…only to see Anakin's somber face and Jobal quickly shutting her door.

Padme was frozen in her chair, unable to move at the sight of him. She could only think of two reasons to explain his reason for being there. But she couldn't allow herself to think that he was here with the reasoning that would lead to them being together. That was just too positive for her taste.

"Padme…"

He paused, unsure of what to say. He had rehearsed his speech over a hundred times but now seeing her made him choke on anything he would have said. Somehow, he managed to find his voice.

"Padme, I came here because I needed to tell you that you can't marry Bail."

She swallowed and looked back up at him, her heart pounding into her heart.

"Why not?" She looked at him almost defiantly, like she was daring him to give her a better option.

"Because you don't love him." He looked away from her almost instantly after those words left him mouth. He didn't want her to get the wrong impression for why he was there. He wasn't trying to talk her into marrying him instead; he just knew that she couldn't marry Bail.

"So what?"

He sighed and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Because you don't love him and he won't make you happy. You would be making a huge mistake. Just don't…don't ruin your life because of me. I'm sure there's someone out there who can make you happier than he can. You don't even like him, Padme, and neither do I. I know you're only doing this because of me…"

"Don't tell me what I will or will not do. I'm not doing this because of you. I'm doing this because I don't care. I don't care anymore and you can't tell me what to do."

She placed her hands rebelliously on her hips and glared up at his hesitant face.

"I didn't come here to fight with you, Padme. I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to do this because of me. If you want to marry him, fine, do it. But don't ruin your entire life because you're mad at me."

"It doesn't matter anyways. It really doesn't matter."

"I wish you wouldn't say that."

"Well, I wish for a lot of things, but so far, none of it has really come true."

Anakin bit his lip, knowing exactly what she meant. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't ask her to marry him instead. She was silently pleading with him, but he just couldn't. He had too much pride to put himself through that all over again.

"You know what? I'm through with arguing with you. You want to ruin your life? Fine. I don't care either."

He turned on his heel and practically ran from the room. He almost ran right into Padme's mother, but managed to stumble right past her and back to his ship.

* * *

"Obi-Wan, I need a favor."

Obi-Wan looked expectantly back at his former apprentice, who was now standing before him looking more distraught than he had ever seen him. He had just arrived for the Senators' wedding and was definitely not anticipating to find Anakin in this kind of state.

"Of course. What do you need?"

"I need you to take my place."

Obi-Wan frowned and crossed his arms over his chest in thought. "Why…I thought you were supposed to be at the wedding tomorrow as well."

"Yes, yes, I know, but I can't do it tomorrow. I can't be there."

"Why not?"

Anakin sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, trying to find the way to word what he wanted to say. "Let's just say that I don't agree with Senator Amidala's decision to marry Senator Organa. I think it would be a conflict of interest if I was present tomorrow as her bodyguard and anytime after that."

Obi-Wan nodded absentmindedly as he digested this information. "Can I just ask why you don't want her to marry him?"

"She doesn't even like him, Obi-Wan. She would be miserable with him. I just want her to be happy, maybe I've just taken this bodyguard assignment too seriously."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't surprised at all. After all, Anakin had always had a big heart and he had always cared for Senator Amidala. It was only natural that he would want her to find happiness.

"I understand your dilemma, Anakin. I'm sure it would be no trouble. What will you do then?"

"I'll go back to Coruscant and ask the Council to find a replacement."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, I've no doubt they will oblige you, especially once they discover your reasoning."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I don't know what I'd do if I was there tomorrow. It's for the best though; I'm just going to find a replacement anyways."

Obi-Wan placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "It's no problem at all."

Anakin nodded back at his former Master and continued to walk towards his ship. He still had to pack his bags back at the Lake Retreat and then, he wanted to rest awhile. He could leave for Coruscant in the morning.

He shook his head, knowing that he should leave that night if not immediately, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't ask her to marry him instead, but he couldn't watch her destroy her entire life either. There was still some part of him, way in the back of his mind that was telling him there was another reason he couldn't bring himself to leave until the very last minute.

He couldn't believe how stubborn she was…and he couldn't decide if it was stupidity or just plain will power that was forcing her to marry Organa. He had to admit that was part of why he loved her so much…she was strong-willed and incredibly determined. But now, that was working against her and himself. He wanted nothing more than to just walk away, like he had told her he would, but it was harder than he had ever imagined. He was sitting in the cockpit of his ship now…and all he had to do was set the controls for Coruscant. He didn't necessarily need what was back at the Retreat, he had his light saber and that was the most item of most importance. All he had to do was leave. But he couldn't do it.

His hand slipped off the controls and he fell back into his chair. He set his course for the Lake Retreat, telling himself that this was the last time he was going to give in.

* * *

Jobal slowly crept into her daughter's room, noting quickly that her wedding dress had been thrown to the ground along with a heap of added wedding details that had been on Padme's desk. She had heard every word of Padme's conversation with the Jedi and now she was even more aware that her daughter was heading down a dark and dangerous path.

She found her daughter sitting on the balcony, her feet dangling across the edge.

"Oh gods, Padme. Don't jump! Please…we can talk about this!"

Padme laughed sarcastically. "I'm not going to jump, Mother. If I wanted to do that, I would have done it a couple of years ago."

"Alright, alright. Just come down from there. You're making me nervous."

Padme obliged her within a matter of seconds and came face to face with her mother.

"I heard you talking with the Jedi…"

"Oh god, Mother! I can't believe you! When are you going to leave me alone and let me live my life?"

Jobal's mouth dropped open but she shut it quickly. "Padme, you're making a mistake. That Jedi…he's right, you know. You won't be happy with Bail. I used to think that you could, but I saw you with him. I heard the way that Jedi…Anakin…I heard the way he talked to you. He loves you, Padme. You'll be making the biggest mistake of your life if you marry the wrong man…believe me, I know."

Now it was Padme's turn to gape at her mother. Never in a million years would she have guessed that her mother wasn't happy with her father.

"Now, don't get me wrong, Padme. I love your father very much. It's just not the same. Surely you know what I mean. Believe me, I see the way you look at Bail and it's completely different than it is with your father and I. We care for each other, we're best friends. Every time you look at Bail, I'm afraid you're going to vomit."

"Mother…"

"No, just listen to me. This is important! If you marry Bail, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I know you, Padme. I know you better than you know yourself. Don't do it. Be with Anakin instead. I know that's what you really want. I'll even take care of everything with Bail. I'll cancel everything. You won't have to anything except go and get your man."

Padme sighed and looked at her mother with sorrowful eyes. "No…mother, you don't know what you're talking about. I can't be with Anakin…"

"Of course you can…"

"NO! I can't because he doesn't want me. I told him that I loved him and I wanted to be with him, not Bail. You know what he told me? He told me that he was going to walk away from me like I had done to him. He said that he couldn't let himself get hurt again. He doesn't love me…he doesn't want to be with me. He hates me! And it's too late now anyways. He's leaving."

Her last words came out in a loud sob and she hugged herself tightly. She had never felt so alone in her life and the weight of her impending nuptials felt like the weight of the entire galaxy resting on her tiny frame. Finally speaking out loud of Anakin's rejection made it seem all the more real, and it made the knife in her heart plunge a little deeper.

Jobal wiped her daughter's tear-stained face, then wiped her own before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "It's never too late, Padme."

Then she turned and left her daughter alone. Tomorrow would come all too soon and her daughter had to decide if she wanted to show up for it or not.


	18. Free

Chapter Seventeen

Sabe pulled on the strings of Padme's corset, wincing every time she had to take a little more oxygen away from Padme. But what really disturbed her was the fact that Padme wasn't making a sound. Normally when she tied Padme's corset, Padme just protested against the need for women to wear them at all. Unnecessary, she had always said. But now, she was painfully silent, almost like she was about to be led to her execution. But one would think that she would at least put up a fight. Or be dragged kicking and screaming the whole way. But Padme remained expressionless and never said a word.

Even Jobal couldn't get Padme to speak. It was as if she were already dead.

Padme lifted her hollow eyes to the dress that was now being slid over her head. Her faded chocolate orbs closed momentarily then flew open with renewed strength. She would get through this. She could do it as surely as she could allow Anakin to walk away from her. The guests had arrived, the musicians were setting up, and Bail was, undoubtedly, pacing in a room not to far from her own. Yes, it would be a piece of cake.

Padme's thoughts were brought to a halt as a knock was heard from the door. For a fleeting moment, she hoped beyond hopes that Anakin had come to take her away from all this, but her hopes were shattered yet again when Sabe opened the door to reveal a solemn Bail.

"Why, Senator Organa, it is very improper for you to see your bride before the ceremony…" Jobal started before Bail unfeelingly held up her hand to stop her. Jobal opened her mouth to speak again, but shut it quickly in shocked response to the way her future son-in-law had just treated her. Bail strode to where Padme stood, his eyes flicking over her with disapproval at her failure to cover herself up.

For the first time that day, Padme showed some life. Her dull brown eyes turned into black shards of ice the second Bail took a step towards her. She was on the defensive and she had a sinking feeling that this was how it was going to be for the rest of her life.

Bail glanced quickly at the other women in the room and motioned for them to leave. Jobal was the only one to object immediately but she hastily followed suit when she saw the cold stare Bail was casting her direction.

Padme lifted her chin and asked haughtily: "What makes you think you can come in here like this, and order us around?"

Bail's eyes narrowed and he had to fight back the urge to laugh. "Because in about an hour, you're going to belong to me, that's why."

She stared at him in a mixture of shock and horror. He had actually had the nerve to say that to her! Even now, after seeing her reaction, he was looking down at her like some hunter who had finally killed his long sought-after prize. He was looking at her like she was his possession.

"I don't appreciate you speaking to me that way." She bit back icily.

"Really? I wasn't even going to mention this, but now, you leave me no choice. I know exactly what went on at the Lake Retreat. Every last detail. You're in love with that Jedi and you had sex with him. Did you really believe I was never going to find out? You'd better wipe away any thought of reconciling with him because if you do, I promise you will be sorry."

She was too shocked and frightened to speak, even if her mind had been clear enough to come up with a response to that…that…she couldn't even put a name to what he had just done to her. To her dismay, Bail continued with delight.

"I've watched you, Padme. I've watched you for years. I've watched you grow into the woman that you are and I've wanted you. I even stood by while that Jedi romanced you the first time two years ago. I knew I couldn't possibly allow anything to come of that and was extremely pleased when your mother unknowingly gave me my opportunity by telling you to end it with him. I knew you would never accept me on your own, so naturally, I spoke with your mother about marrying you, and she thought it was a novel idea, of course."

Padme winced when he paused to let his eyes trail over her. Now she knew exactly why she had wanted to vomit every time she looked at him. He was vile and absolutely insane.

"I gave you everything you could possibly want. I was good to you, I was kind to you. And how do you repay me for my kindness? You turn around and sleep with that…that worthless Jedi."

Bail immediately stopped and took a deep breath. He was letting himself get too worked up but he would be damned if he didn't let her know how it was going to be once they were married.

Padme eyes narrowed into suspicious slits and somehow, she found the courage to speak.

"That's why you pushed the wedding up, isn't it? You found out what you knew all along was going to happen. So to punish me, you're making me marry you today."

A hearty laugh rumbled from Bail's chest and he fought the urge to kiss her. "I'm not trying to punish you, darling. I'm simply protecting my investment."

"Investment? You can't speak to me like this, it doesn't matter that we're to marry, you cannot talk to me like I'm…some kind of…"

"Whore?" He finished for her. He grinned down at her and took her forcefully by the shoulders. "Listen to me, darling, if you mess this up, if you do something to stop this wedding, I swear to you I will make you sorry you were ever born."

Padme's lips quivered for only a second, then she regained her composure and lifted her head in defiance. "Fine. Now will you please leave so I can finish putting my wedding dress on?"

Relief flashed through Bail's face and he nodded, now with newfound respect. "Of course, darling."

He leaned over and placed a light kiss on her cheek and she tried with all the strength left in her not to recoil and vomit right onto his wedding attire.

It was only moments after Bail closed the door that Padme finally fell apart. Tears flowed down her face and…she started laughing. She laughed so hard that new tears formed in her eyes and spilled onto her dress. Her hands lifted at the skirts of the dress she was to wear in the mockery of a dress and her laughter only increased. She wasn't afraid of him at all. Gods, she didn't even want to think of what Anakin would do if he ever found out about what had transpired between Bail and her. Well, she knew what he would do…and it definitely involved a light saber.

With that last hilarious thought running around in her mind, she determinedly marched toward the church's entrance. If he wanted a wedding, she was going to give it to him.

* * *

So far, the wedding was running along smoothly, at least in Bail's estimation. His bride showed no signs of running from him, in fact, she even seemed remotely happy. He could only admire her acting skills, which he was sure were being put to good use today. However, things took a swift turn for the worse when the holy man began to lead the vow recitation.

Bail, naturally, recited his quickly and expertly, then turned his attention to Padme. As the holy man waited patiently for Padme to repeat what he had just said, she looked confidently, defiantly up at her former husband-to-be with a glimmer of laughter in her eyes.

"No."

A hush fell throughout the church as it anxiously waited for the bride to continue. She did.

"No, I don't."

Now, a loud murmur echoed throughout the enthralled crowd as it watched expectantly. Bail's face changed from several different shades of red to a very frighteningly deep purple in a matter of seconds. He took his 'bride' seemingly politely by the elbow and whispered furiously into her ear.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She looked up at him, mutiny in her eyes and a triumphant grin playing across her lips. "I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm not marrying you."

His lips twitched with fury and gripped her elbow so fiercely she almost cried out. "If you do this, I will tell everyone about you and that Jedi. His former Master is here, you know. Everyone will know and your Jedi will be kicked out of the Order because of your stupidity."

She knew it was meant to be a threat but her grin only grew wider. "Go right ahead. Then I'll tell them all the nasty things you said to me earlier. I'll tell you about the threats you made to me. And I'll tell them that you've lusted after me since I was a fourteen-year-old Queen! It would simply…ruin your reputation. Can't have that, can we now?"

She watched with a smile as he ran his hands through his hair shakily and she knew she had won. If her nasty little secret came out, so would his. Bail was left with no choice. He watched helplessly as his bride fled back down the aisle, amidst the gasps of the crowd, the cheering of her mother, and the curious gaze of one intrigued Jedi Master.

* * *

Padme raced through the halls of the Lake Retreat, her heart soaring to the clouds just above the walls. She felt like laughing, crying, and screaming all at the same and couldn't decide which to do first. Instead, she ran happily outside, past the glittering lake, and into the grassy meadow that had always been a solace for her. Her hair flew out behind her, her white veil long ago cast into the wind, and the skirts of her wedding dress brushed wildly between her legs and the blades of grass.

She stretched out her arms as far as they could reach and embraced this newfound feeling that engulfed her. Freedom. And she had won it for herself. She had needed no knight with his blazing blue sword. She had needed no one. The feeling, this freedom she had earned and she had won it for herself.

Then she began to laugh at she had almost allowed to occur that day. She had realized within a split second that even her pride was not worth destroying her life for. Anakin had been right about that. And the man she was supposed to marry wasn't the worth the carpet he had stood on as he showed his true colors. She wished with everything in her that Bail would some day pay for the injustices he had done to her. Someday, she knew, he would get what was coming to him. She just hoped it was sooner rather than later.

She took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh scent of the meadow and the waterfall. It was calm here and she could stretch her wings here. She smiled faintly as she thought of the social disaster she had wisely fled from. But she knew that her mother could handle it, just as she had promised she would.

The galaxy was hers now to do whatever she wanted with it. She wasn't completely sure what she was going to do yet, but she knew that she made the right decision. The most important one of her life, she knew for certain. She had the time to figure it out though.

The only thing nagging at her now was the fact that Anakin wasn't here to bask in her triumph with her. He should be here because he had had a part in her newfound strength. Even if the part he played had been somewhat small, that didn't change the fact that what he had done had been out of pure love for her. And she had let him walk away from her. Maybe she was just meant to be alone. Maybe…

She immediately shook those sorrowful thoughts from her mind. This was a happy time. She needed to celebrate, and celebrate she would. There were no more worries, no more feelings of doubt and pain. Only happiness.

Throughout Padme's exuberant rejoicing in the peaceful meadow, she had failed to notice the ship landing near the Lake Retreat or, for that matter, the soft footsteps approaching her laughing figure in the grass.


	19. Finally

Chapter Eighteen

Anakin's fingers rested numbly on the controls of his ship as he piloted his way off of Naboo and towards Coruscant. He wasn't sure where he really wanted to be. Naboo held so many beautiful memories, yet just as many painful ones that he had lost count. And she was there. But that could be looked at as either a good or a bad thing as well. Then there was Coruscant, dizzyingly busy with city life, which had never really appealed to him, but then again, she wasn't there. And that could be looked at as either a good or a bad thing as well also.

He sighed and leaned back in the pilot's seat, glancing carefully at the clock. Well, she was probably well on her way to being married now. He had given her every possible opportunity to abort and maybe even come to him, and even when his hopes were fading fast, he had waited until the last possibly moment to leave for Coruscant and had left the minute the ceremony was to start.

Despite his best efforts to resist, he flipped on the holonet that rested in the cockpit, looking for some sign that she had indeed gotten married. He immediately turned the volume up as the words came pouring out of it:

"…it appears that Senator Amidala has left the church. She apparently refused to recite the vows, then fled out of the church. No word yet on her whereabouts or the current state of Senator Organa. Senator Amidala and Senator Organa became engaged one year ago at the…"

Anakin switched it off with trembling fingers, not needing to hear anymore. She did it. She really did it! He couldn't believe what he had just heard, but he knew that it was true. He was bursting with pride for the woman he loved and realized that it could only mean that there was a chance she still loved him too. Even if she didn't, he told himself firmly, he needed to know. And he had to congratulate her.

With his mind made up, his now steady hands turned the controls back to Naboo, headed for the one place he knew she would go to for solace.

* * *

Padme twirled around in the grass, her skirts flaring out around her and she laughed. It seemed like she couldn't stop laughing today. It just spilled out of her and gave her more of a relief than she could have ever imagined laughing could give. Now she was dancing, twirling her arms out in front of her, her laughter floating up into the wind.

"What are you laughing about?"

She froze at his voice, stronger than she had remembered it, and now it also held a hint of laughter in it. She turned, her dance now forgotten, and she looked into the face of the man she had thought she'd never see again. His face held an amused grin and she found herself smiling back at him.

"I am laughing because I'm free."

His grin widened and he took another step closer to her, folding his arms to his chest in mock disapproval. "And that's funny?"

She laughed at that and replied easily. "No, it's not funny. It's wonderful and glorious and triumphant and everything else I never knew I could feel. I'm free, Anakin, of all of it. I never have to see him again. I never have to do anything I don't want to do ever again."

He couldn't help but laugh right along with her. Her laughter was so infectious that he thought he would burst if he didn't join her. He knew he was bursting anyway though. The love and the pride he felt for her at that moment had never been stronger. She was radiantly beautiful, more so than he had ever seen her be, and he certainly knew the reason for it. And she had every reason to be radiant now. And he had to resist every urge to reach out and touch her.

"I'm so happy for you, Padme. I wanted this for you. I really did. I can't tell you…"

"Wait, I thought you were going to Coruscant?" She interrupted.

"I was. But then I heard that you left Organa at the altar on the holonet and I couldn't resist coming here to congratulate you."

Her heart nearly fell onto the grass as he spoke his last words. That was it? He came all this way just to congratulate her and wish her well? Well, if he was going to do that, then he could just leave right now and be done with it.

"So you're leaving right away again? You're not going to stay?"

He shifted nervously and deliberately refused to meet her eyes. This was exactly what he had feared in coming here. He had known that this would happen and that he would only have to tell her his decision had already been made…but had it really? Could he really walk away from her again and really be able to move on with his life as if nothing had ever happened here? He knew that wasn't possible. Not ever for the Chosen One. But still, he had to know just what her intentions really were.

"I don't know. I mean, there really isn't anything left for me here, is there?"

She eyed him carefully, toying with the idea of simply throwing her arms around him and kissing her with all the passion she possessed. Instead, she decided to play his game, only this time, she wasn't planning on letting him win.

"I think there might be."

His eyes immediately flew to crash with hers in mixed shock, surprise, and joy. He had always known there was something there for him on Naboo; he had always just thought that she had never wanted it.

"Really? I've always thought there wasn't."

She smiled softly and closed the distance between them.

"There always has been. Ever since the day a certain little boy asked me if I was an angel, there has been. It's just that I didn't know it until a few hours ago." She whispered into his ear before catching his mouth into a passionate kiss.

He broke away several minutes later, much to his dismay, but he needed to do this the right way. "Padme, I know…"

"No, please, just listen to me. I realized something today while I was putting on this stupid dress. Bail was saying horrible things to me…"

"Wait, what? He was…was he hurting you? I'll kill him…if he even laid a hand on your hair, I'll…"

"Anakin," she whispered softly while putting a finger to his lips. "Let me finish please."

He sighed and held up his hands in defeat, which she took as her signal to continue.

"Bail wasn't being very polite to me; I'll just put it at that. I realized that there was no way I was going to live with that man every day of my life. And just like that, everything else fell into place. Once that decision was made, everything else seemed so easy, so incredibly simple that I had to laugh at it. I was so stupid for believing I could give you up and marry that…that…I don't even know the right word for him, but I was so stupid for believing I could compromise everything I had believed in, everything I had ever felt just because I was my stubbornness won over my heart. I'm never going to do that again, I can promise you that. I don't need you anymore, Anakin. Not the way I used to. I don't need you to make everything better because I know now that I can do that myself. I don't need you, but I want you. I want you to be there for me."

He smiled faintly and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. Well, it was now or never.

"Padme, I know that this isn't happening exactly the way you imagined it, but I'm going to do my best, alright?"

She nodded, despite her confusion, but then that quickly faded when she saw him bend down on one knee.

"I've never felt the way I feel before when I'm with you. You're free now, and I'm so happy for you, and you did that completely on your own. But you know what? I'm free too, and that's entirely because of you. I'm completed, and hopelessly in love with you that I can't even stand to be away from you for two seconds. You make me whole, Padme. And there's no where I'd rather be than right here with you, in this moment, just loving you for your strength, for your determination, even for your stubbornness. And you have never looked as beautiful as you do right now that I can hardly keep my hands to myself. What I'm trying to say, what I really mean is, will you do me this honor and become my wife? I know we'll have to hide it but I know we…"

She cut him off by leaping into his arms and wrapping him in her love with the most passionate kiss either of them had ever experienced. Love and happiness surged through them both as she finally spoke her answer: "Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I will be your wife."

* * *

Only a few hours later, husband and wife stood out on the balcony that looked out onto the shimmering lake. Anakin gently took his new wife's hand in his and brought it to his lips as the holy man and their droids looked on.

As they looked out onto the lake, watching the glorious sunset that spread across it, the future had never seemed brighter. They were together, they were joined forever, and they were one. It was all either of them had ever wanted, and as they gazed at each other now, each realized that their lives had taken on greater meaning. He was meant to protect her, and now, he would give up his very soul if it meant she would be safe. And she, who had always been reserved and restrained, was bursting and basking in an even greater freedom that only the love her new husband could give her. She was meant to love him, no matter should befall them, no matter what obstacle thrown in their way, and she would stand by him until the breath left her lungs. Their destinies were entwined, long before this day, maybe even long before they had ever met. They were destined to love each other, even though it had taken them a considerable amount of time to realize this, but a fact is still a fact.

They gazed into each other's eyes and suddenly, the rest of the world was only a memory. All that remained was the two of them and their unfailing love. It had guided them through countless arguments, countless amounts of pain, countless bouts of stubbornness and they knew that it would not fail them as long as they lived. It had wavered, but it had always renewed itself even when it had seemed there was no hope. There was no more resisting it, no more fighting it, it was there, and it was real and it was true.

THE END.

Look for the sequel, "Fix You" within the next few days. Thanks to everyone that's stuck with this. It's really meant a lot to me.


End file.
